Tag: mythology

Why I Enjoy Rick Riordan’s Books

Why I Enjoy Rick Riordan’s Books

Mungkin kalau udah ngikutin blog ini entah dari kapan tahu, udah tahu ya seberapa ngefans-nya aku sama Myths, and stuff that revolves around it. Well, probably this article is to give you a small image onto how Rick Riordan’s books give mythology a brand new image…

Aku dapet topik ini dari random topic generator actually… “A book that has affected you”

To prevent myself from bricking, jadi aku tulis tentang ini deh… Artikel ini kurang lebih bakalan tentang Modern Mythology ala Rick Riordan, writing style-nya dia dan cara ini merubah persepsi seseorang pada dunia. Or things like that. Anyways, just carry on, keep rowing your boat to the river Styx and enjoy the article!

Imagination

Menalar myth itu udah pasti butuh pake imajinasi, karena, dimana lagi coba kita bisa membayangkan makhluk humanoid (with powers) dengan personality yang vivid, dan masing-masing punya kerjaan masing-masing, sambil mereka invent hal baru dan govern things. Wait no… there’s X-Men…

Sure, the Alien freaks will say that these Greek Gods are all “Extraterresterial Beings, or Ancient Astronauts”… Whatever, I’ll stick to myths… Muhahahha

On topic… Jadi, sebenarnya, cara mereka govern universe mereka itu sangat… tidak masuk akal. Tapi, kalau orang mau berkhayal, ya, sebenernya sih tetep masuk akal ya… (or not).

Anyways, jadi, di buku-bukunya Rick Riordan (specifically Percy Jackson and Magnus Chase), dia bahas beberapa kali, bahwa kalau mau berimajinasi untuk menyatukan teknologi dan myth, pasti akan ketemu kok meeting point-nya. And once you do, you’ll find out that it does make sense.

Who else could’ve imagined that Valhalla is a hotel… Atau mungkin bahwa Mount Olympus itu lift yang dijangkau dari Empire State Building… Another fun thing to imagine is, the fact that Hermes’s delivery system, is a large shipping brand.

Blend dari both technology and mystic related things dari Buku Rick Riordan itu keren, dan kalau mau, bisa di terapin di dunia nyata, in ways that Rick Riordan hasn’t even done yet…

Gimana? Misalnya, kita mau berteori bahwa ada singer yang merupakan demigod. Well, basically, it’s all you need to enjoy the theory. Pikirin aja siapa dewa yang jadi ayah/ibu-nya, kenapa dia bisa jadi demigod, or things like that. Kalau iseng mau nyoba tinggal di bahas aja sebagai conversation topic.

Nah selain itu, kita bisa move on to the next topic, bahwa, sebenernya mythological prospect dari bukunya Rick Riordan ini masih kelihatan.

Staying True To The Myths

Nah, sebenernya, Rick Riordan ini refuse to change some things inside his books. Masih ada fakta bahwa senjata harus dikasih nama sesuai apa yang dibilang orang Norse, kalau senjatanya mau reach full potential.  According to the Greeks juga, Apollo uses a bow, dan ga boleh sampai dia jadi god of ballistics dan make meriam atau pistol apa… Meskipun ga sekepake dulu, Apollo masih stick to his weapon, the bow.

Selain itu, buku Rick Riordan juga ga sepenuhnya stay true to the myth’s sih. Tapi changes to some tradition yang di offer sama Rick Riordan itu sangat tolerable (even for myth fanatics… {bukan aku}). Like for instance, seseorang masuk Valhalla karena mati dengan heroik sambil bawa Rifle. He gets to keep the weapon he died with, dan setauku Valhalla juga ngestok beberapa jenis Rifle and guns deh…

Well, basically, buku-nya dia… masih mau stick to tradition sambil tetap mau improve dan provide new probable theories onto how this mystic thing is just a cover up of a technological marvel. Keren sih, imagination and ideas are good, and it kept me coming back for more.

Old Heroism-ish things

Heroism-ish… I have no idea what that means…

Jadi intinya, selain dia bisa stay true to mythological facts, while putting up an interesting perspective of modern day mythology… Heroism yang di present di buku-bukunya dia realistis, dan sangat bisa di apply di old Greek myths. Act-nya biasanya similar to the things heroes do in Greek Myth, dan juga masih ada act yang mirip-mirip dengan beberapa hal yang Greek Heroes like Hercules does…

Well, kembali lagi ke fakta bahwa Rick Riordan mau stick ke Greek myth facts, ada juga di Heroism-nya, dan memang cara membunuh beberapa monster masih persis sama dengan yang ada di real life myths. Alhasil, sekali lagi, blend antara kedua dunia ini tampak.

Selain itu, bisa dibilang bahwa heroism dan transisi karakter ini maturing ketika tahu dirinya lebih baik juga alasan bukunya kuanggap keren… Heroism dan transisi sebuah karakter bener-bener tampak. In every book, a character matures more, dan sadar beberapa hal… Some very teenage-y things, but, presented in the perspective of a person with superpowers and family issues.

Jokes, and Light References

Di hampir semua bukunya, Rick Riordan successfully present reference ke outside world, dan juga… banyak joke di buku-nya. Jokes in this book… kebetulan sajah… cocok dengan sense of humor-ku. Jadi ya wajar aku suka.

Kadang ada voice over (andaikan ini serial), sebuah karakter, yang bilang bahwa dirinya sendiri menyesali suatu action di buku-buku yang lalu. Indirect jokes yang aku kadang suka buat juga disini (like saying, wait, that doesn’t sound right), atau direct jokes, kaya pas ketemu Nike (goddess of victory), dan bilang “OH NO! I’m wearing Adidas shoes!”. Or things like that.

Kebetulan aja sih, gaya bercandanya mirip sama aku, jadi aku suka…

In Conclusion…

Wow, aku sebenernya ga terlalu tau mau conclude apa, in addition aku juga merasa artikel ini cuma escape temporal karena lagi ga ada ide mau bikin apa… 🙁

Jadi yaaaaa gitu deh….

Kalau kita ga konsisten juga ga bakalan sih, mungkin kelewatan artikel satu hari, bisa amplify jadi 10 hari, and end up ga bikin sama sekali lagi…

Jadinya aku bingung… I really am… Sebenernya apa yang bisa di conclude untuk hari ini…

Kalau mau ketemu Nike, don’t wear Adidas shoes, just… don’t

Hope you enjoyed the article… (It’s really short)

Ragnarok: Mitos Vs Film, Versi Bahasa Indonesia

Ragnarok: Mitos Vs Film, Versi Bahasa Indonesia

Jadi ada beberapa temanku pas SD yang meminta aku untuk buat versi Bahasa Indonesia dari artikel ini, dan aku memutuskan untuk meluangkan 45 menit waktuku untuk mentranslate artikel versi Inggris-nya dengan yang Bahasa Indonesia… Jadi ini versi Bahasa Inggrisnya jika penasaran.

Dengan dirilisnya Thor: Ragnarok minggu ini, (atau tepatnya kemarin), aku telah memutuskan untuk membuat sebuah artikel yang mengupas istilah Ragnarok dan Ragnarök sebenarnya di Mitologi Norse, membandingkannya dengan versi mitologi dan Versi MCU. Silahkan menikmati artikelnya!

DISCLAIMER: Berisi spoiler dari film, dan banyak detail brutal, cukup untuk membuat Ceritanya Kronos tampak sopan.

Untuk tujuan trivial, aku membandingkan istilah Ragnarök dan Ragnarok. Oh, dan beberapa nama dari film Thor sebelumnya mungkin saja sama dengan yang ada di Mitologi Norse. Tapi aku belum menonton Thor: The Dark World sih, jadi aku sedikit clueless mengenai film itu.

Ragnarök VS Ragnarok

Dalam Mitologi Norse, Ragnarök adalah kiamat, hari dimana orang mati akhirnya bisa emm… Mati, atau mungkin bisa benar-benar istirahat, dan yang hidup akhirnya bisa mati. Nah, pada hari itu, semuanya akan memudar menjadi hitam, dan mereka akan dilempar ke Ginnungagap atau, Norse Black Hole, seperti aku suka bilang.

Dalam buku komik Thor, Ragnarok adalah codename untuk clone jahat Thor dari Earth-816. Ragnarok punya semua kekuatan Thor, tapi lebih pintar dan jahat. Awalnya ketika aku mendengar judul film berikutnya Thor, kukira Thor akan bertemu dengan Ragnarok di MCU, namun setelah menonton trailernya, plotline Thor: Ragnarok lebih mirip dengan Ragnarök di Mitologi Norse, tapi diubah sedikit.

Sebelum ke spoiler di film… aku mau beralih ke sisi “Ragnarök”, baru nanti pergi ke bagian Ragnarok dari Thor: Ragnarok

Ragnarök

Jadi kita bicara tentang kiamat Norse. Ragnarök secara harfiah artinya “Takdir para Dewa”, dimana Odin, ayahnya Thor, Raja Asgard, karena sangat paranoid, memberikan salah satu matanya untuk pohon Yggdrasil (detail dilanjut di bawah), agar diberi izin meminum airnya, dan mendapat ramalan takdir yang dimaksud.

Jawabannnya simple, ada di bawah.

Norse Geography

Guide Geografi Norse dulu, mengenai tempat dan istilah yang mungkin kamu belum tahu… Pertama-tama ini ada 9 dunia Norse.

  • Asgard: Kota Dewa-Dewi perang. Dewa-Dewi yang tinggal di sini disebut Aesir, contohnya Thor, dan Odin.
  • Midgard: Bumi, makhluk yang tinggal disini disebut manusia, seperti penulis artikelnya.
  • Jotunheim: Dunia para raksasa, makhluk yang tinggal disini adalah raksasa (atau Jotunn di bahasa Nordik))
  • Vanaheim: Dunia Dewa-Dewi sihir dan alam. Dewa-Dewi yang tinggal disini disebut Vanir
  • Niflheim: Dunia kabut dan es. Raksasa Es tinggal disini, seperti yang disebut dalam film pertama.
  • Muspelheim: Dunia Api. Raksasa Api yang tinggal di sini, karena Raksasa Es butuh saingan temperatur…
  • Helheim: Alam orang mati yang tidak heroik. Kenapa tidak heroik? Karena mereka tidak mati dalam pertempuran, atau perang. 😀
  • Alfheim: Alam para Elf. Iya… Hanya itu.
  • Nidavellir, atau Svartelheim: Dunia Gua milik para Kurcaci. Mereka tinggal di gua karena mereka akan menjadi batu jika mereka terkena sinar matahari.

Sekarang mari kita buat kamu lebih bingung lagi!

  • Bifrost: Jembatan pelangi Asgard. Tidak seperti di film Thor, dimana Bifrost adalah mercusuar untuk memanggil orang, Bifrost adalah jembatan untuk sampai ke Asgard..
  • Yggdrasil: Pohon dimana ada 9 dunia. Setiap potongan akar atau ranting ada 1 dunia.
  • Valhalla: Hotel, ok mungkin bukan hotel per se, tapi surga orang Norse. Untuk masuk ke sini kamu harus mati secara heroik, dengan memegang senjata. Setiap hari orang-orang disini akan berlatih untuk berperang pas Ragnarök.
  • Vigrid: Lapangan seluas 600 kilometer dimana Ragnarök akan dilaksanakan.
  • Naglfar: Kapal orang mati. Lanjut ke bawah untuk penjelasan lebih detail.
  • Einherjar: Penghuni Valhalla. Prajurit-prajurit Odin untuk mati secara heroik (lagi) saat Ragnarök
Geografi Norse 101, Yggdrasil dan 9 Dunia

Tanda-Tanda Ragnarök

Aku cuma Bercanda Bro!

Sebelum Ragnarök secara resmi memulai, ada bagian dari ramalan tersebut, di mana Baldr, Dewa Cahaya, anak dari Odin, akan mati di tangan Loki. Jika itu terjadi, maka Ragnarök pasti akan terjadi. Jadi, Frigg, istri Odin dan ibu Baldr, memberi perintah pada setiap benda mati (Iyap… benda tidak bernyawa), untuk terpental dari Baldr jika mendekat dengannya.

Begitu itu terjadi, para dewa memutuskan untuk bersenang-senang dan membuang semuanya ke wajah Baldr, menyebabkannya terpental tanpa ada apapun yang terjadi, dan jatuh dari mukanya. TAPI! Frigg lupa satu hal, daun Mistletoe tidak terpantul Baldr. Frigg mengabaikan fakta, tapi Loki tahu, jadi dia menipu saudara buta Baldr, Hod, untuk melempar mistletoe ke arahnya.

Jangan percaya sama Loki, jangan lah pokoknya… Mistletoe itu diberi racun, dan saat mistletoe itu menusuk Baldr, dia mati. Loki berkata … “Aku cuma bercanda bro!” Tapi bagaimanapun, Loki membenci orang yang disukai semua orang, contohnya Baldr. Karena ini, Loki dihukum … Dan jika kita berbicara tentang detail brutal, ini bagian yang kumaksud.

Anak-anak Loki dari istrinya Sigyn dibunuh, dan diamputasi, usus mereka kemudian digunakan sebagai rantai, menjaga Loki di dalam gua dan terikat pada batu. Aku belum selesai … Seekor ular dikirim mengelilingi leher Loki seperti dasi. Setiap detik, ular itu akan meludahi racun itu ke wajahnya, menyebabkannya terbakar dan kesakitan. Tapi, Loki masih bisa memproyeksikan citranya ke dunia nyata, dan jika cukup kuat, dia bahkan bisa memproyeksikan bentuk fisiknya.

Hukumannya Loki, dengan Sigyn untuk menemaninya.

Jadi apakah itu cukup menyenangkan? Aku gak tahu… sorry… Tapi, ini mengkonfirmasi Ragnarök akan terjadi, masalahnya… Kapan?

Anak-Anak Loki

Loki memiliki 3 anak yang akan lahir dari salah satu perselingkuhannya dengan Raksasa perempuan Angrboda. Semua 3 anaknya sama-sama mengerikan, dan semua diasingkan atau dirantai di suatu tempat oleh Aesir dan Vanir, karena takut mereka akan memulai Ragnarök lebih awal dari yang diinginkan. Jika mereka benar-benar lahir, maka Ragnarök dikonfirmasi, karena 3 anak ini memainkan peran yang sangat penting pada hari itu.

Anak nomor 1, Hel, Dewi Kematian

Hel adalah hmm … Dia seorang dewi, tapi agak rusak. Sisi kanan wajahnya adalah seorang wanita muda cantik yang normal. Sisi lain, sisi kirinya adalah zombie, mayat hidup, dan mengerikan. Dia tidak memiliki kekuatan yang spesial selain mengendalikan orang mati, tapi Odin segera melemparkannya ke Helheim, menjadikannya Ratu dari orang mati. Kalau Odin mendapatkan prajurit Limited Edition di Valhalla, Hel mendapatkan sisa-sisa orang mati, mendapatkan penyebab kematian yang biasa saja, dari penyakit, atau karena umur tua.

Hel menyimpan dendam soal ini, dan telah bersumpah untuk mengirim orang mati untuk kembali menyerang yang hidup selama Ragnarök.

Hel, Dewi Kematian yang Bipolar

Anak Nomor 2, Ular Laut Jormungandr:

Jormungandr adalah seekor ular laut yang ukurannya sekitar garis Khatulistiwa. Ya dia sangat besar. Sekarang kamu mungkin bertanya, bagaimana seorang raksasa, dan seorang setengah dewa/raksasa, memiliki seekor ular raksasa sebagai anaknya? Jangan tanya aku, Poetic Edda, atau buku cerita besar mitologi Norse tidak memiliki ini, aku hanya memberikan versi yang lebih menyenangkan untuk dibaca.

Anyways, Jormungandr lahir di Midgard, dan kelahirannya menyebabkan kekacauan besar, memaksa Thor, yang tugasnya melindungi Midgard dan manusia, membuat Jormungandr pingsan dengan menyetrumnya, dan mengirimnya ke kedalaman lautan. Ketika Jormungandr lahir, dia tidak sebesar itu, tapi seiring berjalannya waktu, dia bisa tumbuh dari mungkin panjang benua Amerika sampai ukurannya saat ini, seukuran khatulistiwa.

Artwork Modern Jormungandr

Jormungandr tertidur sekarang, beristirahat dan bertumbuh, tapi saat Ragnarök mulai, dia akan terbangun, jauh lebih besar dari ukuran tubuhnya saat Thor pertama kali melawannya.

Anak Nomor 3, Serigala Fenrir

Fenrir mungkin yang paling ditakuti di antara anak-anak Loki. Ketika dia lahir, dia adalah serigala biasa, mungkin sedikit lebih besar, tapi Fenrir adalah serigala yang sangat menakutkan. Setelah lahir, keinginannya sederhana, menyerang (baca: memakan) para dewa.

Pada serangan dan kemarahannya di Asgard (Critically speaking, bagaimana dia bisa sampai di Asgard dengan cepat? Dia lahir di Jotunheim), dia melukai Odin, dan para dewa langsung bergegas masuk ke Nidavellir, mencari Rantai Terkuat di seluruh ke sembilan dunia, yang hanya para Kurcaci bisa tempa.

Rantai Fenrir sudah siap, tapi Fenrir tidak bodoh, dia adalah anak Loki, dewa terpintar (atau, ya licik) di seluruh mitos Norse, dia tahu ada sesuatu yang aneh. Jadi, Dewa Duel dan Keadilan, Tyr bergegas maju, dan tanpa rasa takut dia meminta Fenrir untuk menggigit tangannya saat dia mencekik binatang itu, sementara semua orang Aesir harus merantai sang serigala dengan rantai yang dibawa dari Nidavellir. Setelah kehilangan lengan kanannya, dia tahu itu adalah sebuah pengorbanan yang harus dilakukan. Fenrir kemudian dilemparkan ke sebuah pulau yang lokasinya berubah ke tempat yang berbeda setiap hari, dan Fenrir diikat di sana sampai Ragnarök.

Tyr tanpa tangannya sesudah melawan Fenrir

Pada hari Ragnarök Fenrir akan tumbuh seukuran bus Double Decker, dan akan jauh lebih ditakuti, karena percaya aku, jika serigala yang sedikit lebih besar dari serigala normal dapat melukai banyak dewa, bayangkan yang sangat besar.

Sekarang apa yang akan terjadi pas Ragnarök?

Ragnarök, Kejadian Hari-H

Jadi, apa yang akan terjadi pada Ragnarök? Nah pertama, menurut ramalan Odin, Ragnarök akan terjadi setelah 3 musim dingin non stop, atau di bahasa Norse, Fimbulwinter, yang berarti Einherjar bisa mempersiapkan lebih banyak setelah 2 musim dingin non-stop, tapi mereka telah mempersiapkan diri untuk selamanya, jadi kayanya tidak akan menjadi masalah. Selama Fimbulwinter orang Viking akan berperang demi makanan yang makin menipis.

Setelah itu, kapan semua orang akan mati? HAHAHA! Ragnarök didesain untuk menjadi hari yang menyakitkan dan sangat lama, jadi ini mungkin bakal lebih panjang dari yang dikira…

OKE! Siapa yang mematikan lampu?

Jadi, matahari dan bulan disebut Sol (dewi) dan Mani (dewa) masing-masing di Mitologi Norse, mereka adalah dewa-dewi yang dikutuk oleh Odin untuk mengorbit Midgard karena dia cemburu bahwa Sol dan Mani adalah anak yang lebih keren dan bisa dibanggakan daripada Anak-anak Odin sendiri.

Sol dan Mani akan dimakan oleh Serigala Hati dan Skoll, yang akan memakan Sol dan Mani untuk sarapan dan makan malam di Ragnarök. Ini bisa berarti Ragnarök dimulai pada gerhana, tapi Norse kekurangan sains untuk menjelaskannya.

Jadi Skoll dan Hati dikirim ke langit untuk terus-menerus mengejar mereka selama berabad-abad sebagai bagian dari kutukan Odin kepada Sol dan Mani. Dua serigala itu diciptakan hanya untuk memastikan mereka menderita, dan tidak dapat beristirahat. Oleh karena itu, Sol dan Mani akhirnya kehabisan energi setelah terbang dan berlarian selama itu, dan mereka akan menjadi makanan serigala!

Sol dan Mani dikejar para serigala

Setelah ini, Skoll dan Hati memakan bintang-bintang, dan para orang Norse akan bertanya … “Siapa yang mematikan lampu?” Karena langit sekarang gelap gulita.

Bangun dan beraktivitas itu irrelevan.

Jormungandr sudah bangun. Aku gak tahu bagaimana, dia hanya … emm… bangun tidur! Setelah terbangun, Loki terbebas dari guanya karena gempa besar yang terjadi oleh gerakan makhluk itu!

Begitu Loki dibebaskan, dia akan pergi ke Helheim, dan mencari Hel. Tunggu… jangan tanya tentang Jormungandr … Hanya karena dia terbangun tidak berarti dia siap berperang, dia masih punya beberapa rencana sebelum itu. Jormungandr akan mengguncang bumi saat Loki membutuhkannya untuk mengguncang bumi, setelah Naglfar mencapai Vigrid.

Jormungandr akan diam sementara itu, sementara Loki pergi ke Helheim, berangkat dengan Hel di Naglfar.

Ayo Berangkat Ke Kiamat!

Ketika mendengar istilah Kuku, aku serius… Kuku kaki orang mati akan dipakai untuk membuat kapal Naglfar, kuku mereka akan dipotong dan dibuat sebagai kapal… JIJIK!

Kapal para orang Mati

Setelah kapal siap, dan Loki ada sebagai laksamana, kapal itu akan berangkat, mengambil beberapa musuh lagi dari Aesir. Dari Helheim, kapal itu berisi dengan Hel, zombie-zombie pasukan hel, Loki, dan anjing raksasa peliharaan Hel, Garm.

Perhentian pertama… Jotunheim!

Setelah mencapai Jotunheim, para raksasa akan mengisi Naglfar, dan di antara para raksasa itu adalah Kapten-nya Hrym.

Perhentian kedua… Kenapa kita berhenti?

Jadi, inilah masalahnya … Setelah sampai di Jotunheim, mereka akan pergi ke Niflheim, yang kurasa bukan masalah, dunia-dunia itu berdekatan satu sama lain. Mereka tidak menjemput siapa pun (sesuai dengan Poetic Edda), tapi mereka berhenti di Niflheim karena ada bongkahan es besar. Setelah Fimbulwinter berakhir, gunung es itu akan meleleh. Jadi, inilah alasan Norse bukan penggemar musim panas, mereka takut Ragnarök akan dimulai. Aku membayangkan para orang viking tepuk dahi pada kita karena setiap hari kita semakin dekat pemanasan global.

Ini sangat kontra produktif … Ragnarök hanya dimulai setelah Fimbulwinter, tapi Fimbulwinter juga memperlambat Ragnarök, serius?

Nah menurut puitis lain, ada pilihan lain bagi Ragnarök untuk memulai tanpa akhirnya Fimbulwinter. Jika Jormungandr cukup kuat untuk membuat tsunami di Niflheim dan Midgard sekaligus, Naglfar akan berlayar melewati gunung es, dan mereka dapat berjalan ke pemberhentian ketiga mereka sebelum menghancurkan dunia, mungkin membeli donat terakhir mereka, atau makan siang, Karena Loki akan drop-off mereka di medan perang kiamat.

Perhentian ketiga! Musselheim? Muscleheim? Muspelheim!

Jadi, setelah beberapa spellcheck memang benar Muspelheim. . .

Di Muspelheim mereka akan menjemput … Raksasa api … Dipimpin oleh Surtr … Tujuan Raksasa Api ini yang paling penting dalam mengakhiri dunia menurut pendapat saya.

Pada Vigrid, ketika sebagian besar dewa lemah, atau mati, Mereka akan mengaktifkan mode self-destruct dan membakar ke-sembilan dunia seperti pembom bunuh diri. Tanpa mereka, orang Aesir mungkin sudah mati, manusia mungkin tenggelam, Vanir mungkin kehilangan semua sihir mereka dengan alam, namun tujuan Ragnarök tidak tercapai, karena dunia tidak dapat dimulai dari awal.

Jadi mereka berangkat ke Vigrid, bersama Hrym memastikan mereka menikmati perjalanan mereka untuk mengakhiri dunia … maaf, ke 9 dunia.

Doomsday Alarm Clock

Heimdall, yang pekerjaannya sama seperti di film Thor, yaitu untuk menjaga Bifrost, memiliki sangkakala yang dikenal sebagai Gjallarhorn … Sebuah sangkakala yang fungsinya untuk mengingatkan orang, seolah mengatakan “BANGUN! HARI INI KIAMAT”. Heimdall diberitahu untuk meniup sangkakala karena Heimdall dapat melihat seluruh 9 dunia sekaligus, yang berarti, ketika dia melihat Naglfar berlayar ke depan, dia dapat memperingatkan Aesir dan Vanir untuk bersiap-bersiap perang.

Ketika Klakson itu dipencet… kiamat akan dimulai.

Peristiwa Ragnarök dimulai dengan Odin mengendarai dan mengumpulkan Einherjar dengan kuda ber kaki 8-nya, Sleipnir, kedua gagaknya, dan dengan membawa senjata besarnya, Gungnir. Kebiasaan untuk orang Viking yang mempunyai senjata untuk memberi nama senjatanya, karena itu akan membuka potensi penuh senjata itu, terutama jika diperlakukan seperti teman dan sesama manusia.

Odin Rushing With His 8-Legged Steed

Dewa-dewa lainnya, di antaranya adalah Thor, Tyr, Heimdall dan Frey (Dewa Musim Panas, Vanir, bukan Aesir) juga mengikuti pimpinan sang Allfather.

Setelah mencapai Vigrid, suasana terasa tegang, karena ini adalah takdir yang tak bisa dihindari selama beberapa abad terakhir, menunda atau kabur bukan lagi pilihan. Semua takdir mereka telah diungkap oleh Odin, mereka tahu persis bagaimana mereka akan mati, tapi mereka juga tahu takdir adalah sesuatu yang tidak dapat mereka hindari.

Mereka Semua Mati…

Oke, jadi akhirnya kita bisa mencapai bagian di mana para makhluk kekal mati … Tunggu, maaf, orang Norse tidak pernah mereferensikan dewa-dewi mereka sebagai makhluk kekal.

Bagaimanapun juga, para dewa-dewi Norse tidak all-mighty, dan kupikir sebaiknya memanggil mereka makhluk yang lebih kuat daripada manusia, tidak seperti Dewa-dewa Yunani yang abadi, mereka tidak. Jadi, inilah bagian dimana mereka akan mati! Aku sudah lama menunggu lama untuk menulis bagian ini, karena ini bagian paling seru-nya.

Setelah sampai di medan perang, Loki segera membangunkan anaknya, Jormungandr, memerintahkannya untuk marah, dan menciptakan tsunami, dan menenggelamkan para manusia! Sebagai pelindung Bumi, Thor terbang dengan Mjolnir dan terbang ke Midgard, melawannya dalam sekejap, meledakkan makhluk itu dengan petir dari palunya yang legendaris.

Sebelum hal lain terjadi, anjing Hel, Garm maju dengan cepat, menggigit Tyr, saat ia melawan anjing itu dengan satu-satunya tangannya, dengan pedangnya, ia memotong kiri dan kanan, mendorong anjing itu untuk mundur, memastikan Garm tidak menyakiti dirinya, atau orang lain.

Tidak lama kemudian, Jotunn, Zombie, Einherjar, dan Dewa mulai bertengkar, menikam dan memotong satu sama lain. Di tengah semua kekacauan ini, Hel berdiri di belakang, mengendalikan orang mati. Fenrir bergegas maju, hanya untuk diblokir oleh Sleipnir dan Odin, dan merasakan tusukan Gungnir’nya Odin.

Odin Melawan Fenrir

Heimdall berhadapan dengan Loki, saat ia bergerak dari kiri ke kanan, seperti seorang pembunuh, dengan berhati-hati ia merencanakan gerak-gerik untuk membunuh dewa yang melihat semua dan mendengar semuanya (ini harfiah, Heimdall dapat melakukan ini jika dia menginginkannya). Akhirnya, Loki memainkan trik meninggalkan decoy, membingungkan penjaga Asgard, Loki melanjutkan dengan menusuk Heimdall, menyebabkannya teriak kesakitan, lalu Loki melangkah ke depan, dengan belatinya, ia memastikan wajahnya adalah hal terakhir yang dilihat Heimdall.

Raksasa Api Surtr bertatapan dengan Frey. Mereka adalah musuh alami, api, kekuatan yang merusak, melawan pertumbuhan musim semi yang menenangkan dan kehangatan musim panas (dengan global warming, ini jadi panas yang menyengat, tapi ya begitulah). Frey tidak memegang senjata, dia menukarkan Pedang Sumarbrander-nya sebagai hadiah pernikahan untuk Raksasa cantik yang dinikahinya. Bagaimanapun juga, dia harus melawan sang raksasa api, terlepas dari api membara yang mengelilingi mereka berdua, yang disebabkan oleh panas Surtr yang dipancarkannya, Frey masih bertarung dengan sihirnya, mengalihkan Surtr.

Kekacauan yang Surtr timbulkan saat Ragnarok

Kembali ke Midgard, Jormungandr telah menenggelamkan sebagian besar manusia, sementara memuntahkan banyak racun, melelehkan pohon dan jalan yang kena dengan racunnya. Thor melakukan yang terbaik untuk menangkis binatang itu, dia mencoba segalanya, serangan jarak dekat, badai petir, melemparkan Mjolnir, membanting dirinya dari udara. Apapun, usahanya tampaknya hanya mengganggu si ular raksasa. Dengan tenaga yang tersisa, dia mencoba yang terbaik untuk menyetrum air, seperti yang dia lakukan terakhir kali. Jormungandr tampak lemas, tapi itu banyak energi Thor yang terkuras untuk menganggu makhluk itu.

Terbang sekali lagi, Thor melihat dampak kekacauan yang dilakukan Jormungandr. Di udara ia melihat pemandangan dari manusia yang tenggelam, rumah yang hanyut, pohon yang tumbang, dan tebing dari gempa yang ditimbulkannya. Dia tahu dia perlu melakukan sesuatu yang sangat berani untuk mengalahkan makhluk itu. Thor menyiapkan energi apa pun yang tersisa untuk menyalurkan badai petir dan bergegas maju membawa awan badai bersama Mjolnir-nya, melemparkannya ke dalam mulut ular itu, membelahnya menjadi dua. Upaya Thor berhasil, namun dalam proses mengalahkan Jormungandr, ular itu memuntahkan racun ke muka Thor, dan saat ia turun lagi, ia mundur 9 langkah di tanah … Ke tanah ia jatuh, saat ia menarik napas terakhirnya, ia meninggal secara heroik. membela Midgard dari ancaman yang paling berbahaya.

Untung aku yakin Thor tidak akan mati di Thor: Ragnarok, karena itu akan buruk bagi bisnis film mereka, kecuali Marvel Cinematic Universe ingin menghidupkan kembali orang lain, seperti yang selalu mereka lakukan, kecuali untuk Uncle Ben.

Kembali ke dataran Vigrid …

Frey yang berikutnya untuk mati… Seperti type Pokemon mengajariku, dan tentu saja, SAINS! Rumput kalah dengan Api, dan kamu tidak ingin melawan Raksasa Api sebagai Dewa yang pekerjaannya adalah menumbuhkan tanaman. Frey telah tahu takdirnya saat dia menyerahkan pedangnya sebagai hadiah pernikahan untuk Istri Raksasa kesayangannya. Frey dibakar, dilemahkan, saat Surtr menghabiskannya dengan pedangnya yang berapi-api, dan Dewa Musim Panas tidak dapat melakukan apapun, kekuatannya terkuras, tanaman yang dia ciptakan terbakar dalam sekejap, dan dia menerima takdirnya.

Odin melangkah mundur, meninggalkan Fenrir untuk membuat kekacauan di jajaran Einherjar-nya, karena dia tahu dia harus menyelesaikan seseorang terlebih dahulu, seseorang yang memulai perang ini, seseorang yang suka bermain “lelucon”… LOKI! Dengan delapan kaki kudanya, Odin bergegas maju, dengan Gungnir-nya didepannya, ia menghunus tombaknya ke Dewa licik itu, membunuhnya.

Fenrir sangat marah … Dia tidak dapat menerima bahwa ayahnya meninggal … Fenrir melompat dan memakan Odin, UTUH, membunuh sang allfather. Namun, mengetahui ini adalah cara dia meninggal, Odin telah menyiapkan anak laki-laki untuk kesempatan ini (aku tahu, kalimat aneh, tapi dia benar-benar melakukan itu).

Jadi, anak laki-laki Odin, Vidar, yang telah menyiapkan sepatu bot sangattebal untuk menginjak wajah Fenrir tanpa kehilangan satu pun jari kakinya, melangkah ke mulut Fenrir yang terbuka, dan saat Fenrir menggigitnya, Vidar mencekik serigala itu sampai mati … seluruh hidupnya, Vidar telah disiapkan untuk saat itu juga, yang menunjukkan Paranoia Odin terlalu parah.

Sepatu tebal… oke…

Sementara itu, Tyr telah berhasil memotong anjingnya Hel, Garm, tapi tanpa digigit beberapa kali. Garm melukai sang Dewa Perang, membiarkannya menggeliat kesakitan, sampai Surtr dan tentara raksasa api-nya meledak untuk mengakhiri kesengsaraan setiap dewa di luar sana.

Akhirnya, setelah sebagian besar Einherjar, Vanir dan Aesir meninggal, para Raksasa Api mengikuti sebuah formasi yang dipimpin oleh Surtr, saat mereka menenggelamkan dunia dalam kobaran api dan mengorbankan diri mereka untuk membersihkan 9 cabang Yggdrasil dari apapun yang telah ditinggalkannya …

Dunia telah terulang kembali, dan hanya beberapa yang selamat …

Survivors of Ragnarök

Di antara banyak yang meninggal di Ragnarök, beberapa orang Aesir dan Vanir berhasil bertahan …

Magni dan Modi, dua putra Thor selamat karena Odin telah berjanji dan menyampaikan bahwa 2 putra Thor akan bertahan dan mewarisi Mjolnir, Thor memilih 2 anak kesayangannya untuk memimpin para Aesir yang hampir punah.

Vidar selamat, karena rencana ayahnya untuk membunuh Fenrir, Vidar diberi hadiah untuk bertahan hidup Ragnarök, jika dia berhasil membalaskan Odin.

2 Manusia diberi perlindungan di Yggdrasil oleh Thor sebelum dia melawan Jormungandr, dan Thor menyuruh mereka untuk merepopulasi kembali bumi setelah Ragnarökberakhir.

Yggdrasil menumbuhkan bumi baru dari apa pun yang tersisa darinya, yaitu lautan, dan dunia telah kembali lagi.

Wow! Semoga kamu menyukai cerita itu!

Sekarang untuk versi cerita Thor: Ragnarok …

 

Thor: Ragnarok

BERHENTI JIKA KAMU TIDAK MAU SPOILER!

Membahas Mitos versus Trailer MCU

Masih disini? *sigh* aku berharap pembaca sudah nonton saja kalau begitu ya…

Dari trailer aku menyimpulkan bahwa Loki adalah orang baik sekarang … Jadi begitulah, sigh … Loki yang jahat selalu mengagumkan menurut saya. Maaf, itu salah … Loki tidak percaya pada baik dan jahat, karena dia merasakan perang sebagai dua pihak berkelahi satu sama lain, dan literatur Norse tidak memiliki konsep Good and Evil … Aku lebih suka Loki bertarung dengan putrinya. Hel, yang sayangnya, tampaknya bukan putri Loki, dan Loki tidak mungkin meminta bantuan Hel kali ini.

Sekarang kita memiliki Hulk, yang beberapa orang mungkin ragukan alasan dia di film ini, tapi Hulk bisa masuk deskripsi tentang Viking Berserker dengan cukup baik, beberapa Einherjar adalah Berserker, yang merupakan orang-orang yang bertarung tanpa batas apapun ketika mereka marah, seperti Hulk.

Kemudian ada Odin, Heimdall, dan Sif, di Mitos, Odin bertempur dan meninggal, sayangnya, dari apa yang aku lihat dari trailer, portrayal Anthony Hopkins sebagai Odin sepertinya tidak ada dalam perang. Heimdall sepertinya tidak ada, karena aku ragu pria bertudung merah itu memang Heimdall, tapi kuharap memang begitu. Sif adalah Istri Thor dalam mitos, dan tidak seperti di film Thor, dia bukan pemanah, atau pemburu atau apapun … Dia adalah dewi Bumi dan pertumbuhannya, jadi ada perbedaan di sana, walaupun begitu aku tidak yakin Sif adalah kembali untuk saat ini

Aku juga melihat sekilas Serigala Raksasa yang aku berdoa adalah Fenrir, karena aku tidak sabar menunggu dia terbunuh oleh siapapun yang ada di bioskop.

Film Versus Mitos

Yap, aku sudah menonton filmnya, dan inilah beberapa perbedaan dari hal-hal yang benar-benar terjadi di film ini, bagian ini penuh dengan Spoiler, dan aku rasa ada banyak, terutama karena film ini cukup erat hubungannya dengan mitos, menjauhlah dari bagian ini jika Anda belum menonton filmnya.

  • Peran Surtr … TUNGGU! Subtitle film menyebutkan Surtur, yang mungkin sedikit salah karena ada masalah pengucapan. Perbedaan utama antara film dan mitosnya adalah bahwa Surtr tidak membunuh Hel, dan membakar semuanya, yang di filmya, dia hanya membakar Asgard.
  • Kehadiran Hel Dalam film… Nama dia Hela, yang aku tidak bakal complain, karena puisi Norse kuno menggunakan nama Hela, dan nama modern menjadi Hel. Hel / Hela bukan anak Odin, dan, Hel juga tidak memiliki dunianya sendiri. For The Record, di film pertama, Thor menyebutkan satu dunia yang tidak ada dalam versi 9 mitos Dunia, yaitu Nornheim, kemungkinan substitusi MCU dari Helheim.
  • Selanjutnya, aku mau bahas Fenrir, dan Fenris, yang walaupun serigala Hel tidak begitu menakutkan dalam film ini, kehadirannya ada, dan Fenris, juga seperti Hel dan Hela, memiliki nama Norse kuno Fenrisr, yang beberapa sebut sebagai Fenrir, dan juga ada yang menyebut Fenris, jadi tidak ada masalah besar di sana, hanya versi yang berbeda.
  • Kekuatan Thor … Aku gak bercanda di sini, Thor tanpa palu seperti … Sebuah bom tanpa detonatornya. Bomnya masih ada di sana, dan kamu bisa memukul kepala orang dengan benda itu, tapi tujuan utamanya tidak tercapai. Dalam Mitologi Norse, dengan 20-30 Jotunn, Mjolnir dapat dengan mudah diangkat, dan disembunyikan dari Thor. Lalu Thor tidak berguna … Seperti, dia punya senjata cadangan yaitu tongkatnya untuk memukul orang, tapi dia tidak bisa menyetrum orang lain, dan dia juga tidak bisa terbang. Tapi yah, maka tidak ada ruang untuk kepahlawanan di filmnya jadi oke aja deh …
  • Valkyrie. Meskipun tidak dijelaskan tugas asli mereka di filmnya, di mitos Norse Valkyrie umumnya tidak melakukan apa-apa selain menarik orang-orang heroik ke Valhalla, dan iya, di MCU, seperti yang disebutkan oleh Thor dan terlihat dalam pencurian memori oleh Loki, mereka menjaga takhta Asgard, jadi itu hanya perbedaan kecil saja.

Nah begitulah … P.S. FILM YANG BAGUS! juga cameo Stan Lee yang ditempatkan dengan baik.

Thanks for reading!

Ragnarök: The Myth v The Movie

Ragnarök: The Myth v The Movie

With the release of Thor: Ragnarok this week, (or precisely tomorrow) I’ve decided to make an article peeling the phrase Ragnarok and the real Ragnarök in Norse Mythology, comparing it with the real life version and the MCU Version. Please Enjoy the article!

P.S. Indonesian Version of this Article

DISCLAIMER: May contain Spoilers from the Movie, and VERY VERY Gory details… Enough to make Kronos’s story look like a polite one.

Also, I’m comparing the two terms of Ragnarök and Ragnarok here, and for trivial purposes, some of the names in the previous Thor movies, are the same as those in Norse Mythology, although… I haven’t watched Thor: The Dark World yet though…

Ragnarök VS Ragnarok

In Norse Mythology, Ragnarök is the apocalypse, the day where the dead can finally rest, and the living can finally die. Well, on that day, everything will fade to black, and they will be tossed onto the Empty Void Ginnungagap (I think I spelled this right), or as I like to call it, Norse Black Hole

In the comic books of Thor however, Ragnarok is a code name for an evil clone of Thor from Earth-816. Ragnarok retains all of Thor’s powers, but is smarter and is pretty evil. At first when I heard the title of Thor’s next movie, I thought Thor would meet Ragnarok in the MCU, but apparently after the trailer, Thor: Ragnarok’s plotline will be Ragnarök in Norse Mythology, but altered.

Nevertheless let us move on onto the “Ragnarök” side of things, before going onto the Ragnarok part of Thor: Ragnarok

Ragnarök

Right, so we’re talking about apocalypse. Ragnarök is literally translated to “Fate Of The Gods”, which Odin, who you should know as Thor’s father, King of Asgard, because of his paranoia on the subject, he gave one eye to the world tree, Yggdrasil and dranked some of its water, while asking what the Fate of The Gods is.

The answer is simple, but I’ll discuss the prophecy down here.

Norse Geography

A simple guide first, regarding terms and places and stuff you might not know… Firstly here are the 9 Worlds.

  • Asgard: City Of The War Gods, Gods that live here are called Aesir
  • Midgard: Earth, creatures that live here are called humans, the writer of this article is definitely a human.
  • Jotunheim: World of the Giants, those who live here are basically large humans, or well Giants (Jotunn in Ancient Norse)
  • Vanaheim: Realm of the Nature Gods, Gods that live here are called Vanir
  • Niflheim: Realm of Fog, Mist, and Ice. Giants live here, specifically, Ice Giants, or as the first Thor movie states, Frost Giants
  • Muspelheim: Realm of Fire. Fire Giants live here, because the Ice Giants need a rival.
  • Helheim: Realm of the dishonorable dead. Why dishonorable? Cause they didn’t die in battle.
  • Alfheim: Realm of Elves. Pretty much that
  • Nidavellir, or Svartelheim: Cavern World of Dwarves. Cause Dwarves are petrified when they come into contact with the sun, they live in Nidavellir.

Now have some more terms to confuse you more!

  • Bifrost: The Rainbow Bridge of Asgard. Unlike in the Thor movies, where the Bifrost is the beacon (or well gate), in Norse Mythology, Bifrost is the bridge, not the gate, or beacon.
  • Yggdrasil: The tree where the 9 worlds sit on. On each branch lies a world, and you guessed it, Yggdrasil has 9 branches.
  • Valhalla: A hotel, ok maybe not a hotel per se, but a place in Asgard where people that died courageously can live and train till they rest, fight and die in Ragnarök.
  • Vigrid: A 600 kilometer plains somewhere in the 9 worlds where Ragnarok’s war would be fought
  • Naglfar: Ship of Nails, or Ship of The Dead, more explanation below
  • Einherjar: People training in Valhalla, members of Odin’s Army who died heroically to fight with him during Ragnarök
Norse Geography 101, Yggdrasil and the 9 Worlds

Signs Of Ragnarök

It’s Just A Prank Bro!

Before Ragnarök officially begins, there is a part of the prophecy, where Baldr, the God of Light, also son of Odin, would die in Loki’s hands. If that happens, then Ragnarök is surely an undodgeable fate. So, Frigg, Odin’s wife and Baldr’s mother, gave orders to every inanimate object (you read this right, inanimate), would bounce off of Baldr.

After that happened the gods decided to have fun and toss everything to Baldr’s face, causing it to bounce harmlessly, and fall off. BUT! Frigg forgot one thing, the Mistletoe doesn’t bounce off Baldr. Frigg ignored the fact, but Loki found out, so he pranked and tricked Baldr’s blind brother, Hod, to throw a mistletoe at him.

Of course, don’t trust Loki! The Mistletoe was covered in poison, and when the mistletoe hit Baldr, he died. Loki said… “It’s just a prank bro!” But regardless, Loki’s motives were simple, he hated people everyone loves, which is Baldr. Because everyone hates Loki. Cause of this, Loki got a punishment… And if we’re talking about gory details, this is the goriest part of the story.

Loki’s sons from his Wife, Sigyn was killed, and amputated, their Intestines were then used as chains, keeping Loki inside a cave and tied to a rock. I’m not done yet… A snake was sent to circle around Loki’s neck like a bow tie. Every second, the snake would spit venom to his face, leaving it scarred and burned. But, Loki still can project his image to the real world, and in fact, he can even project his physical form. Although he has a cap for that, he needs lots of strength to project his physical form.

Loki’s Punishment, With His Wife Accompanying Him

So… was it worth it? I don’t know… Anyways, this has proved that the prophecy will come true, Ragnarök will begin!

Loki’s Children

Loki has 3 children waiting to be born from his affair with the Giantess, Angrboda. All 3 of his children are equally terrifying, and all are bound or chained somewhere by the Aesir and Vanir, fearing they will start Ragnarök earlier than wanted. If they are truly born, then Ragnarök is confirmed, cause these 3 play very important parts on that day.

Child number 1, The Goddess Hel:

Hel is hmm… She’s a goddess, but is somewhat broken. Her right side of her face is a perfectly fine beautiful young woman. The other side, her left side is a zombie, undead, and is monstrous. She has no powers, that I know of that is, but Odin immediately cast her to Helheim, making her Queen of The Dishonorable Dead. While Odin gets the Limited Edition Warriors in Valhalla, Hel gets the scraps of dead people, getting the typical death cause of sickness, or old age kind of dead people, definitely not the collectors edition thing.

Therefore, Hel is vengeful cause of this, and has sworn to send the dead to storm back to the living during Ragnarök.

The Bipolar Goddess Of The Underworld

Child Number 2, The Sea Serpent Jormungandr:

Jormungandr is a sea serpent whose size is about the entire Equator line. Yes he’s that large. Now you’re probably asking, how does A Giantess, and A Pseudo Giant-God, have a snake that large as an offspring? Don’t ask me, Poetic Edda doesn’t has this, I just gave a more fun version for you to read.

Anyways, Jormungandr was born in Midgard, and his birth caused massive chaos, forcing Thor, whose job is to protect Midgard and humans, to make Jormungandr faint, and send him down to the depths of the ocean. When Jormungandr was born, he wasn’t that large, but over the course of time, he could grow from maybe the length of the American continent to his current size, the size of the equator.

A modern day artwork of Jormungandr

Jormungandr is asleep now, resting and growing, but in Ragnarök, he’ll wake up, much larger than his size when Thor first fought him.

Child Number 3, The Wolf, Fenrir

Fenrir is probably the most feared among Loki’s Children. When he was born, he was a regular wolf, well probably slightly larger, but Fenrir is a very scary wolf. Upon birth, his desire was simple, attack the gods.

On his attack and rage in Asgard (Critically speaking, how did he reach Asgard that fast? He was born in Jotunheim), he wounded Odin, and as the gods rushed in to Nidavellir, looking for the strongest Chains in all of reality, which only Dwarves could forge.

Fenrir’s chains were ready, but Fenrir isn’t dumb, he’s the son of Loki, the smartest god out there, he knew something was up. So, the god of Duel and Justice, Tyr rushed forward, and he fearlessly asked Fenrir to bite his hand off as he strangled the beast, while all of the Aesir must kill and chain him with the chains brought from Nidavellir. Upon losing his right arm, he knew it was a sacrifice to be made. Fenrir was then thrown to an island whose location drifts to a different place every day, and Fenrir was bound there until Ragnarök.

Tyr lost his hand after fighting Fenrir

At the day of Ragnarök Fenrir will grow onto the size of a double decker bus, ish, and is going to be a force to be reckoned with, cause trust me, a slightly larger wolf can hurt lots of gods, imagine a gigantic one.

There we have the signs that Ragnarök will begin, issue is WHEN will it begin? Now, I will tell you what will happen on the day Ragnarök does begin.

Ragnarök, D-Day Events

So, what exactly will happen on Ragnarök? Well firstly, according to the prophecies of Odin, Ragnarök will happen after 3 straight winters, or in Norse, the Fimbulwinter, which means Einherjar could prepare much more after 2 straight winters, but then again they have prepared for an eternity so I don’t think that’ll be an issue. During Fimbulwinter Viking Brethren would fight with each other for food.

After that, when will everyone die? Not so fast, Ragnarök was meant to be a painful and terribly punishing day!

Who Turned Off The Lights?

So, the sun and moon is called Sol and Mani respectively in Norse Mythology, those 2 are gods that are cursed by Odin to orbit Midgard because he is jealous that Sol and Mani are better children than Odin’s own Children.

Now, Sol and Mani will be devoured by the Wolves Hati and Skoll, which would eat Sol and Mani for Breakfast and Dinner on Ragnarök. This pretty much means Ragnarök begins at an eclipse, but the Norse lack the Science to explain it.

Anyways Skoll and Hati was sent to the skies to constantly chase those 2 for centuries cause of Odin’s curse to Sol and Mani. Those 2 wolves were just created for the sake of making sure those 2 suffer, and can’t rest. Therefore, Sol and Mani would finally run out of juice after flying and running around for that long, and they’d be wolf food!

Sol and Mani being Chased by Wolves

After this, Skoll and Hati feast on the stars, and the vikings would sort of yell out… “Who turned off the lights?” Cause it was DARK out there.

Waking Up Doesn’t Mean Doing Something

Jormungandr was awake. I don’t know how, he just… you know, woke up! Upon waking up, Loki was freed from his cave because of the massive fissures created by that thing!

Once Loki is freed, he would travel to Helheim, and seek for Hel’s help. (Remind me to write that again, it sounds funny). Wait don’t ask about Jormungandr… Just cause he is awake doesn’t mean he is ready for war, he still has some plans before that. Jormungandr will shake the earth when Loki needs him to shake the earth, after the Naglfar reaches Vigrid.

Jormungandr would lie dormant in the meantime, while Loki travels to Helheim, departing with Hel in the Naglfar.

Let’s Carpool To Apocalypse.

When you heard nails, I’m guessing your thinking those used to make planks stick to walls? The one that we hit with a hammer? Yeah, you’re wrong… I mean LITERAL nails. The dishonorable dead would have their toenails cut, and used to make this ship. Gross!

Ship Of The Dead…

After the ship is ready, and Loki is there as admiral, that ship would depart, picking up some more enemies of the Aesir. From Helheim, the ship is filled with Hel, The Dishonorable Dead zombies, Loki, and Hel’s Giant Dog, Garm.

First stop! Jotunheim!

Who, by the way, the giant Watchman Eggther would signal other giants via his ginormous Lyre. Upon reaching Jotunheim, the giants would fill the Naglfar, and among the giants would be the Captain Hrym.

Second Stop! Why did we stop?

So, here is the thing… After reaching Jotunheim, they would go to Niflheim, which I guess isn’t a problem at all, those worlds were close from one another. They don’t pick up anyone (according to Poetic Edda), but they stop at Niflheim because of massive icebergs. Only after Fimbulwinter ends, that iceberg would melt. So, this is the reason the Norse aren’t fans of summer, they fear Ragnarök will begin. I imagine the vikings are frowning on us when we are this close to global warming.

This is very counter productive… Ragnarök only begins after a Fimbulwinter, but Fimbulwinter is also slowing down Ragnarök, like really?

Well according to other poetics, there is another option for Ragnarök to begin without Fimbulwinter ending. If Jormungandr writhes enough to make a tsunami in Niflheim and Midgard at once, the Naglfar would sail past the iceberg, and they can make their way to their 3rd stop before destroying the world, probably buying their last set of doughnuts, or lunch, as Loki drops them off to the battlefield of apocalypse.

Third Stop! Musselheim? Muscleheim? Muspelheim!

So, after several spellchecks it is indeed Muspelheim. . .

At Muspelheim they will pick up… The fire giants… Led by Surtr… The purpose of these Fire Giants are almost definitely the most important in ending the world in my opinion.

At Vigrid, when most of the gods are weak, or are dead, They would activate self destruct sequence and burn down all of the Nine worlds like a suicide bomber. Without them, the Aesir might be dead, the humans might be drowning, the Vanir might lose all of connection to nature, but the purpose of Ragnarök isn’t achieved, as the world cannot reset.

So they depart to Vigrid, with Hrym making sure they are enjoying their trip to end the world… sorry, The 9 Worlds.

Doomsday Alarm Clock

Heimdall, whose job is just like in the Thor movies, which is to guard The Bifrost, has a horn known as Gjallarhorn… A horn whose function is to remind people, as if saying “WAKE UP! IT’S THE APOCALYPSE!”. Heimdall was told to blow the horn because Heimdall can see from a pretty far range, meaning, when he sees the Naglfar sailing forward, he can warn the Aesir and Vanir to prepare for war.

When That Horn Is Sound, Ragnarök Begins

The events of Ragnarök pretty much starts with Odin riding and rallying the Einherjar with his 8 Legged Horse Sleipnir, and his ravens, while carrying his mighty weapon, the Gungnir. It is customary for the wielder of a weapon to name the weapon, because that would unlock the weapon’s full potential, especially if you treat it like a friend and a single human being.

Odin Rushing With His 8-Legged Steed

The other Gods, among them are Thor, Tyr, Heimdall and Frey (God of Summertime, A Vanir, not Aesir) also followed the rallying Allfather.

Upon reaching Vigrid, the air was tense, seeing that this is an unavoidable fate for the past few centuries, it isn’t an option to turn back now. All of their fates have been revealed by Odin, they knew exactly how they are going to die, but they also knew fate was something they could not avoid, so bravely they fought.

They’re All Dead…

Okay, so finally we can reach the part where the so called Immortals die… Wait, sorry, The Norse has never referenced their gods as immortals.

Anyways, these gods, especially the Norse ones are not all-mighty, and I think I’ll call them stronger beings than humans, unlike the Greek Gods who are immortal, they aren’t. So here comes the part where they’ll die! I’ve been waiting a decently long time to write this part.

Upon reaching the battlefield, Loki immediately wakes up his child, Jormungandr, commanding it to rage, and create tsunami’s, and drown mankind! As the protector of the Earth, Thor flew with Mjolnir and rushed forward, flying to Midgard, fighting him in an instant, blasting the creature with bolts from his mighty Hammer.

Before anything else happened, Hel’s dog, Garm rushed, biting Tyr, as he defended against the dog with his only hand, with his sword, he cut left and right, pushing the dog back, making sure Garm doesn’t harm him, or anyone else.

Not long after, Jotunns, Zombies, Einherjar, and Gods fought with each other, stabbing and slicing each other. In the midst of all this chaos, Hel stood in the back, commanding the dead. Fenrir rushed forward, only to be blocked by Sleipnir and Odin, and having a taste of Odin’s Gleipnir.

Odin Fighting Fenrir

Heimdall faced off with Loki, as he slipped left to right, like an Assassin, stealthily planning his move to kill the god who sees all and hears all (this is literal, Heimdall can do this if he wills it). Finally, Loki played magic tricks, confusing the Guardian of Asgard, Loki proceeded to stab Heimdall, causing him to grunt in pain, until Loki thrust forward, with his daggers ready, making sure his face is the last one that Heimdall sees.

The Fire Giant Surtr locked eyes with Frey. It seems to me they are natural enemies, flames, a destructive force, against the calm soothing growth of spring, and the peace of summer. Frey holds no weapon, he traded his Sumarbrander as a wedding gift for a beautiful Giantess he married. Regardless, he fought the fire giant, regardless of the flames surrounding the two of them, caused from Surtr’s pure heat that he radiates, Frey still fights bravely with his magic, stalling the Fire Giant.

Surtr Causing Chaos During Ragnarök

Back in Midgard, Jormungandr has drowned most of the humans, while spewing out lots of Venom, melting whatever tree or path it encounters. Thor did his best to fend off the beast, he tried everything, melee attacks, thunderstorms, tossing his hammer, slamming forward from mid-air. Regardless, his efforts seem to tickle the giant serpent. With all of his might left, he tried his best to electrocute the waters, like he did last time. Jormungandr seemed weakened, but that was a lot of Thor’s energy drained out to poke the beast.

Flying once more, Thor saw the destructive impact Jormungandr did. In the air he saw a bird eye view of drowned humans, washed away homes, fallen trees, and fissures from the earthquakes it caused. He knew he needed to do something very bold to defeat the creature. Thor prepared whatever energy he has left to channel thunderstorms and rushed forward carrying storm clouds with his Mjolnir, tossing it inside the serpent’s mouth, splitting it in half. Thor’s efforts succeeded, but in the process of defeating Jormungandr, the serpent spewed out venom, and as he took 9 steps back on the ground… To the ground he fell, as he took his last few breaths, he’s died a heroic death defending Midgard from it’s most dangerous threat.

Fortunately I’m certain Thor won’t die in Thor: Ragnarok, cause that would be bad for their film business, unless the Marvel Cinematic Universe wants to revive another person, like they always did, except for uncle Ben.

Back onto the plains of Vigrid…

Frey was the next to fall… As Pokemon types taught me, and of course, SCIENCE! Grass loses to Fire, and you don’t want to fight a Fire Giant as a God whose overall job is to grow plants. Regardless, he knew his fate when he gave away his sword as a wedding gift for his beloved Giantess Wife. Frey was burned, weakened, as Surtr finished him with his blazing sword, and the God of Summer was unable to do anything, his powers were drained, plants he created burned in an instant, and he accepted his fate.

Odin stepped back, leaving Fenrir to wreck chaos in his Einherjar ranks, for he knew he needed to finish someone first, somebody who started this war, somebody who likes to play pranks… LOKI! With his eight legged steed, Odin rushed forward, with his Gungnir thrusted forward, he runs forward, stabbing the Trickster, killing him.

Fenrir was enraged… He cannot accept the fact his father died… Fenrir leapt and feasted on Odin, whole, killing the allfather. However, knowing this is the way he died, Odin has prepared a son for this occasion (I know, weird sentence, but he really did that). So, Odin’s son Vidar, who has prepared boots thick enough for him to step on Fenrir’s face without losing a single limb, stepped on Fenrir’s open mouth, and as Fenrir bit it, Vidar strangled the wolf to death… His whole life, Vidar has been prepared for that very moment, which shows Odin’s Paranoia is WAY overboard.

Those Boots Are Thick…

Meanwhile, Tyr has successfully cut Hel’s Dog, Garm, but without getting bitten several times. Garm wounded the War God, leaving him to writhe in pain, until Surtr and his army of fire giants explode, ending the misery of every god out there.

Finally, after most of the Einherjar, Vanir and Aesir died, the Fire Giants followed in a formation lead by Surtr, as they drowned the world in flames and sacrificed themselves to clean the 9 branches of Yggdrasil from whatever it has left…

The world has come to a reset, and only a few survived…

Survivors of Ragnarök

Among the many who died in Ragnarök, some of the Aesir and Vanir did survive…

Magni and Modi, two of Thor’s sons survived as Odin has promised and prophecized that 2 of Thor’s sons will survive and inherit the Mjolnir, Thor chose 2 of his favorite sons to lead the fallen Aesir.

Vidar survived, because of his Father’s plans to kill Fenrir, Vidar was given the gift to survive Ragnarök, if he succeeds in avenging Odin.

2 Humans were given shelter in Yggdrasil by Thor before he fought Jormungandr, and Thor told them to repopulate earth after Ragnarök ended.

At the end of the world, the Yggdrasil grew a new earth from whatever was left of it, which was oceans, and the world has come to a reset!

 

Wow that was a heck of a story… Hope you enjoyed it!

Now for the Thor: Ragnarok version of the story…

Thor: Ragnarok

Stop here if you don’t want spoilers for any of the movie…

Peeling the Myths versus MCU Trailer

From the trailer I can conclude that Loki is a good guy now… So there’s that, sigh… Bad Guy Loki has always been awesome in my opinion. Sorry, that was wrong… Loki doesn’t believe in Good and Evil, for he perceives the war as two sides fighting against each other, and Vikings have no concept of Good and Evil… I prefer Loki fighting with his daughter Hel, who unfortunately, doesn’t seem to be Loki’s daughter, and Loki won’t probably be seeing Hel’s help this time.

Now we have Hulk’s existence, which some might doubt, but Hulk could fit the description of a Viking Berserker pretty well, some Einherjar are Berserkers, which are people who fight in an unstoppable rage when they are mad. Sounds like Hulk for me.

Then we have Odin, Heimdall, and Sif, in the Myths, Odin fought and died, unfortunately, from what I saw from the trailer, Anthony Hopkins’s portrayal of Odin doesn’t seem existent in the war. Heimdall doesn’t seem existent, as I doubt the guy with the red cape is indeed Heimdall, but I wish he is. Sif is Thor’s Wife in the myths, and unlike in Thor, she isn’t an archer, or a hunter or anything… She’s the goddess of Earth and growth, so there’s a difference there, although I’m not sure Sif is returning for the time being.

I also saw glimpses of a Giant Wolf I’m praying to be Fenrir, cause I can’t wait for him to get killed by whoever it is in the movies.

Peeling The Whole Movie Versus Myths

Well I’ve watched the movie, and here are a few differences of the things that actually happened in the movie, this section is filled with Spoilers, and I think lots of them, especially since the movie is pretty closely related to the myths, so a bit of a disclaimer, step away from this section if you haven’t watched the movie.

  • Surtr’s role… WAIT! The movie subtitle mentions Surtur, which might be a bit of an error cause pronunciation issues. The major difference between the movies and the myths is that Surtr doesn’t kill Hel, and burn away everything, which in the movies, he only burnt Asgard.
  • Hel’s presence. In the movie the name was Hela, which I’m not fussing about, cause the ancient Norse poems use the name Hela, and the modern name became Hel. Hel/Hela wasn’t Odin’s child, and then, Hel doesn’t have her own realm. Which for the record, in the first movie, Thor mentioned one world which doesn’t exist in the 9 Worlds version of the myths, which was Nornheim, probably the MCU substitute of Helheim.
  • Next, I’m going over Fenrir, and Fenris, which although Hel’s wolf isn’t that fearsome in the movie, the presence was reassuring, and Fenris, also like Hel and Hela, the ancient Norse names mention Fenrisr, which some literate as Fenrir, and some as Fenris, so no biggie there, just different versions.
  • Thor’s powers… I’m not joking here, Thor without his hammer is like… A gun without a trigger. The gun is still there, and you can theoretically hit people’s head with it, but it’s barely something. In Norse Mythology, with 20-30 Giants, Mjolnir can easily be lifted, and hidden from Thor. Then Thor is useless… Like, he has his backup weapon his staff to punch people, but he can’t electrocute anyone, nor can he fly. But well, then there is no room for heroism, then…
  • Valkyries. Although unmentioned of their pure tasks, Valkyries are generally doing nothing but pulling heroic people onto Valhalla, and yeah, in MCU, as mentioned by Thor and seen in Loki’s memory stealing, they do fight for the throne, so that’s just a minor difference.

Well there you have it… P.S. GREAT MOVIE! also a well-placed Stan Lee cameo.

 

Thanks for reading!

Jaja’s Greek Mythology: How To Get A Wife

Jaja’s Greek Mythology: How To Get A Wife

If Single people are checking this site out, looking for a way to get married quick, this is Hades’s version on getting a wife, I’m not a fan of it, but hey! it worked for him, so what’s not to try?

Now the Greek Gods are well, they’re human-like… not in the sense they’re weak like we are… but they behave like humans… I’m not even joking here, they’re personalities and behavior is almost definitely human. They have lots of conflict, which usually ends up making the world suffer. Ancient Greece was the time when us humans suffered the most.

Before you open this page and see all those names you might not know, read this post first. Just read up some names, don’t memorize them…

Step 1: Stalk

Nowadays, lots of people claim to stalk someone else in social media, which is kinda creepy… But well back then, Hermes or Athena hasn’t invented Social Media just yet, cause Athena probably wants the humans to do something more useful than procrastinating by opening the social media, and Hermes probably hasn’t gotten the thought of any possibility of expanding his advertising and commerce with Social Media.

Okay, so well, the title might be confusing, but remember Hades’s helmet? The one that made him invisible? well that was the first ever tool to stalk someone with. Trust me, it’s freaking creepy… Hades is one creepy dude, and having a creepy dude stalk you was scary enough, but having a creepy god who lives in an underground cave, and monitors dead souls stalk you? That’s probably the worst nightmare for women.

Hades Kidnapping Persephone On His Chariot

Who’s Hades wife you might ask? Persephone, Goddess of Springtime

Persephone was the daughter of Zeus (cause who isn’t), and Demeter. She was a pretty goddess with Nymphs taking care of her, and she walked around making flowers bloom all over the place, and stuff that teenagers in Ancient Greece does, before gadgets were invented and teenagers spend 90 minutes in their laptop writing an article. (guess who did that eh?) So, anyways, one time, Hades went outside the Underworld t0 grab some fresh air, because it’s impossible to breathe without any. That day, Hades saw Persephone frolicking among the fields, and he fell in love, just look at her.

No Dead Thing Is THIS Pretty

From that day, Hades forgot his job, and stalked Persephone all day long, without her knowing cause he’s got his Helm on. Even in the underworld, he forgot his job, and still dreamed about Persephone, which made Hades unproductive…

Step 2: Ask For The Dad’s Permission

So, this story will teach you 2 things…

  1. Don’t Trust Zeus’s advice
  2. Don’t make any Goddess (or in real life, Moms) angry

Now, it’s a known fact that Zeus spends his time getting girls, and well, Hades decided to ask advice from Zeus cause he’s dated lots of women. Apart from that, Hades also wanted to ask permission from Zeus to marry Persephone. Their conversation went onto something like this, which admittedly is dumb, and what the heck was in their minds when they talked?

  • Hades: Good day brother
  • Zeus: Ah, Hades, long time no see… How’s the Underworld?
  • Hades: Dead… and gloomy… and sad…
  • Zeus: That’s too bad, anyways, why have you come here?
  • Hades: I want to marry your daughter
  • Zeus: Which one? I’ve got like 100 of those
  • Hades: Persephone, and I promise that I’ll be a good husband (silently, unlike you who cheats a lot)
  • Zeus: Oh sure, that one… Which one’s her mother?
  • Hades: Demeter
  • Zeus: Don’t ask for her permission, she doesn’t like you remember?
  • Hades: I’m not sure anyone likes me…
  • Zeus: Just don’t talk to her, she’s overprotective
  • Hades: How do I get Persephone to talk to me then?
  • Zeus: Hmm… Just kidnap her, I’ll help you by luring her near the entrance of the underworld.
  • Hades: Are you sure? What about Demeter?
  • Zeus: Nah, she’ll barely know it was you…
  • Hades: Okay. . . Thanks brother

Well then, it’s settled… don’t ask for Zeus’s advice

Step 3: Kidnapping

So the very next day, Hades got a message sent to him via Olympus Express saying that you should wait with your chariot and your helmet on, and when you see Persephone, be sure to take her underground.

So, that day, Zeus put all of Persephone’s nymph friends to sleep. Persephone didn’t notice this, but Zeus made a pretty flower grow from one point to another, because as king, he has power to do that, I guess… Anyways, Persephone walked over and picked up every single one of them, which kind of lead to her straying so far away from her friends, and right near where Hades parked his underground chariot. So what happened?

Hades kidnapped her, and drowned out her screaming by taking her underground…

Hades Kidnapping Persephone On His Chariot of Shadowed Horses

After reaching his palace, Hades got confused with what to say, cause she’s there… and she’s real! How do I talk with a living thing… all of the dead things obey his command, now this living thing won’t. Hades eventually got the courage to say that he loves Persephone, and is willing to do anything for her, which isn’t really the best thing to say to a girl without any introduction.

Well, a bit of a side note, if you eat a bit of food that a house owner presented, according to manners, you’re not allowed to leave, until the house owner let you. Now, I’m talking about manners, but I’m also forgetting that according to manners, it isn’t allowed to kidnap people.

So, Hades started by presenting Persephone food and is trying to make her unable to leave, forever! (Insert the creepy sound effect here). But she rejected cause she’s smart, and at least she knows a bit of manners on what NOT to do at a stranger’s house… (Technically, Hades was his uncle, so that’s not necessarily a stranger, but Uncle’s aren’t supposed to marry Niece’s too… so, move along)

But… now how would you think Demeter reacted at this kidnapping?

Meanwhile, Back On Olympus

“Persephone? Where Are You? Persephone!? It’s way past your curfew!”

Demeter spent 7 days trying to find Persephone… Until she realized that you could use Greek’s best source of CCTV! what is that you might ask? Helios and his sun chariot…

Anyways, that day, Demeter forced Helios to spill out what he saw 7 days ago on his Sun Chariot, because 7 days ago, it was Helios’s shift to drive the chariot, not Apollo’s. From the Sun Chariot, there is literally nothing you can miss seeing, unless if it’s underground. Luckily, if it’s in the underground, you know exactly who the main suspect is, Hades… Now Helios said “I didn’t really see much, but I saw her going underground”, which luckily, Demeter knows who can make Hades bow down, which is… Zeus…

Now, Demeter arrived at Olympus and told Zeus a crime that their daughter was kidnapped by a stranger, taken underground, by probably Hades, their conversation went onto something like this…

  • Demeter: ZEUS! OUR DAUGHTER WAS KIDNAPPED! I asked Helios, it’s got to be Hades, she got taken to the underground! Who else could it be?
  • Zeus: Oh, err…
  • Demeter: PUNISH HADES FOR HIS CRIMES!
  • Zeus: Demeter, calm down a bit, I already gave Hades permission to kidnap and marry Persephone…
  • Demeter: … You gave Hades the permission to kidnap and marry MY daughter? OUT OF EVERY GOD OUT THERE!? YOU CHOSE HADES!?
  • Zeus: He’s a nice man, and he promised me he would be a good husband… so I helped him kidnap Persephone
  • Demeter: *SLAP* YOU HELPED HIM! Kidnap our… DAUGHTER?
  • Zeus: Yeah, I know you won’t let him, but it’s the father’s choice right? Who their daughter gets to marry?
  • Demeter: Very well… If that’s how it’s gonna be, then I will make mankind suffer… (Jaja here, because we did lot’s of wrong things right?) Until my daughter is returned to me, every single living thing in this earth will feel my pain! No Plant, or crop will grow until she is back here on Olympus with me!
  • Zeus: Now, now, no need to make the humans suffer…
  • Demeter: UNTIL PERSEPHONE IS RETURNED!

Wow, talk about overkill… now we’ve reached the part where they’ve destroyed the world… cause we did wrong things right? Also, a bit of a soap opera don’t you think?

Step 4: Respond To Threats

All the other gods are like… Please No… but Demeter is still mad cause Hades and Zeus did things without her permission, and now, Demeter is pretty much in the mood to kill Hades, unfortunately that won’t work, cause he’s immortal, so Demeter decides to take her anger out on us Humans. So, hang on, there needs to be a solution, and Zeus decides to send Hades a message, via Olympus Express’s one and only courier, Hermes. The message went out onto something like this

Dear Hades,

I would like to apologize, and would like to request for you to return Persephone to her mother, Demeter, for she does not agree to let her daughter marry someone like you. The humans are in a famine and they are dying, for Demeter does not let any single crop to grow, and soon, this Global Cooling would reach a point where animals die of hunger, and then because of famine, the humans would soon be extinct, and thus, please, return Persephone to Demeter immediately, I’m certain a considerable amount of humans entering the underworld would make you much stressed in doing your job, so consider this a favor, because the first batch of humans have just died, but surely, you’d be the first to know.

Your Brother (and King), Zeus

Well, before Hermes flew away and delivered a couple of letters to Zeus’s girlfriends he cannot visit cause of the crisis, Hades told Hermes to stay put and wait for him to write and send this letter…

Dear Lord Zeus,

I wish you understand how happy I’m feeling with Persephone right now, for without her, I won’t be doing my job that well, and I also want you to imagine what it feels to be abandoned by your wife. It’s devastating isn’t it? Persephone hasn’t really responded to my proposal, but as soon as she eats some food, she’ll be bound to me, and at one point she will. If anyone tries to contest my soon-to-be marriage with Persephone, I promise you that the dead shall flood the mortal realm once more, and I am certain, when that happens, Demeter’s Famine will be a joke of a catastrophe.

Your Brother, Hades

YEAH! More threats! Now, Zeus has to choose between Dead People mixed with the living, causing a Zombie Apocalypse kinda thing happening, or no humans around to sacrifice to him. Gee what a dilemma.

Step 5: Get Married!

I’m not entirely sure that this set of events actually happened, but Hades seems like a guy capable of doing such trickery…

After the set of threats sent, Hades prepared a gift just for Persephone, after the gift was prepared, Hades sent a letter to Hermes, telling him to come back tomorrow to pick Persephone up, which might seem like a genuine act, but please, continue down below.

The very next day, Hades revealed the gift for Persephone, which was a garden of golden and silver trees, made by the undead soul of Greece’s best deceased gardener. On the trees, Hades prepped a special living tree he took a while ago, used to remind him of Persephone, that tree is Persephone’s favorite and sacred fruit, Pomegranates. Hades picked a pomegranate fruit and gave Persephone one of them… Which ended up with Persephone a flashback, and a rush of sensations of the life outside of the underworld flooding past her. She’s sad, and out of desperation, starvation, and just her love for it, she ate some of them. . . And according to politeness, she’s now bound to Hades.

Hermes arrived 1 minute early, not enough time for Persephone to finish even a half of the Pomegranate, Hermes seeing Persephone is eating a third of the Pomegranate, gave him a very important message to deliver to Zeus and Demeter, reporting the situation, that Persephone ate 1/3 of the pomegranate which belonged in the underworld.

Please Don’t Eat Underworld Food

Luckily, Hestia, an Olympian whose everyday job is to burn some fire onto the family hearth, gave a peaceful solution… Since Persephone only ate a third of the pomegranate, then there we have it! only a third of the year Persephone must stay with Hades, which on that 4 months, no crops will grow cause Demeter is sad, also known as winter, for Greek people. For the rest, Persephone is allowed to stay with Demeter, and crops will grow.

Hermes rushed faster than a speeding bullet and delivered this message to Hades, which is accepted by the 2, and then BAM! Problem solved! Hooray peace!

Also, originally, Hermes happened to come and pick Persephone out with Zeus’s warrant but as an accident, Persephone happened to eat Pomegranates out on that day. I don’t believe this version because there’s a very unlucky coincidence, and Zeus should fear Hades’s power to control the dead and respect his judgement.

Moral Of The Story

Don’t mess with moms, especially the daughter of overprotective ones, just don’t, 10/10

So, there’s this episode of Greek Mythology, and please wait for my next story!

Jaja’s Greek Mythology: Who Are The Olympians?

Jaja’s Greek Mythology: Who Are The Olympians?

Prologue

Let me tell you something… Remember that after the war and all that business with the Titans whose names you might not remember, that the gods started getting married and stuff? Well this page functions to tell you which gods are the god of what, their domain, strengths and other stuff like that. These gods are Ranked from Most Powerful to the Less Strong gods. I will also tell you whether I like him or not…

Firstly, let me tell you that they are referred to as Olympians cause they live in Mount Olympus which I have mentioned in the last page, like we are, you know… Indonesians?

A Simple Guide To This Page:

  • Powers: These are the powers of the God/Goddess, most of them can shape-shift, and radiate power, but these are those that are exclusive to them
  • Domain: These are the areas they rule, or the subjects they do best on
  • Symbol: Their symbol… Basically if they bring a flag, this is the color or things they have in their flag
  • Sacred Animal: Animals that they see as an image of themselves…
  • Personality: This is for their personality, and how they behave
  • Known Relics/Weapons: This is usually the items they hold. This can be the weapon or relic of the said god
  • How Was He/She Born?: First thing that happens after they are born… May include how hard is it to give birth for them, and their parents
  • Official Spouse: Their official partner in “Till Death Do Us Part” But well, they cheat a lot, so there’s that
  • Daily Activities: Things they do in your average episode of Greek Mythology, which isn’t that average
  • One Sentence Philosophy: A joke I make regarding their personalities… If it’s funny leave a comment!
  • Do I Like Him/Her?: My thoughts on the god/goddess.. just a personal opinion

Zeus, The King Of The Universe

A statue of Zeus, complete with his Thunder Bolt
  • Powers: Lightning Bolts, Brewing Storms, and some more “Shocking” stuff, such as shape-shifting!
  • Domain: He is the God of The Sky, Thunderbolts, Storms, and he’s also King of Olympus.
  • Symbol: A Lightning Bolt
  • Sacred Animal: Eagles, cause those things fly on his domain
  • Personality: Stern, and Proud. You do not want to mess with his ego. Since he is king of the universe, he also has the right to kill you if he doesn’t like you, and no one can forbid you from doing that.
  • Known Relics/Weapons: Zeus’s Bolt, the Shield Aegis, but that’s… a bit tricky… refer to Athena down below.
  • How Was He Born?: OK, well read here first, you might want to refer to that
  • Official Spouse: Hera, Goddess Of Marriage… but he does cheat on her… a lot… Which is weird, since Hera is the Goddess Of Marriage, and is VERY loyal to Zeus…
  • Daily Activities:
    • He rules over mortals and gods with high expectations!
    • He also decides how law is supposed to be passed and stuff, since in Greece kings decide punishment, and who is guilty or innocent..
    • Oh, and he finds mortal women for him to date and cheat on his wife on…
    • Oh, and the cream of the crop… Punishing mortals for not much of a reason.
  • One Sentence Philosophy: It is A King’s Job To Make Sure To Rule Without Getting Distrac… OH LOOK! A PRETTY GIRL!
  • Do I Like Him?: NO! there is nothing awesome with a King who doesn’t do his job properly, In fact to make things worse, Zeus isn’t loyal at all to his wife, he doesn’t even have any swag to make up for that. Sure, he’s king… Is he smart? Not really… There you go… Is he powerful? Ok, yeah he is, but… quoting Spider-man, With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility, and Zeus has no responsibility, almost at all.

Poseidon, God Of The Sea

Poseidon, Holding His Trident
  • Powers: The ability to manipulate water, and create Earthquakes, also he can communicate with any sea life!
  • Domain: He’s The God Of the Sea
  • Symbol: The Trident
  • Sacred Animal: Horses! He made them
  • Personality: A Stern but Laid-back King. Oh and he also gets Saltier than the Sea Waters cause he rarely gets what he wants (apart from Women), problem is Poseidon wants too much… He seems to get jealous very easily.
  • Known Relics/Weapons: Poseidon’s Trident
  • How Was He Born?: He got eaten… but see Zeus
  • Official Spouse: Amphitrite, a Sea Nymph, but he also cheats on her…
  • Daily Activities:
    • Swimming around the ocean
    • Finding pretty mortals that walk near the sea
    • Commanding sea creatures to do as he pleases,
    • Trying his best to get what he wants.
    • Oh, and drowning people who forgot to sacrifice to him, tossing islands with Earthquakes each time he doesn’t get what he wants. (If you think a baby’s Tantrum is bad, you don’t know Poseidon’s tantrum…)
  • One Sentence Philosophy: I’m saltier than the sea
  • Do I Like Him?: Nah, he sucks, firstly, he has rage issues… and with his trident, he can toss islands and drown people when things don’t go his way, and secondly, with women, he’s probably cheated on his wife more than Zeus because at least Zeus’s wife is mad at him, and he has a week of redeeming himself and stuff, Amphitrite doesn’t get mad, so… err Poseidon can cheat on her without a single thought…

Hades, God Of The Dead

Hades With His Pet 3 Headed Dog
  • Powers: He rules the dead… There is a LOT of dead people.
  • Domain: He’s the God of The Dead, and God Of The Underworld
  • Symbol: Scepter
  • Sacred Animal: The Screech Owls cause… I got nothing… Maybe those are the scariest Owls
  • Personality: Bitter… He is an estranged person to the other gods, and he never gets any visits. He gets pretty bitter about it, and often times, he can’t really fuss about his luck, he just deals with it. At least he is grateful with what he has, unlike Zeus and Poseidon… also, By technicality, Hades isn’t an Olympian…
  • Known Relics/Weapons: Magneto’s Helmet… I mean… Helmet Of Darkness…
  • How Was He Born?: Same as Poseidon… He was born as a meal for his dad
  • Official Spouse: Persephone Goddess of Springtime… Oh, but he kidnapped her, and almost destroyed the entire population of mankind because of that… So there’s that… (but he doesn’t cheat on her that often, so that’s gratefulness for you!).
  • Daily Activities:
    • Watching dead people from his palace. ( Hades doesn’t really have too much activities, since most of his monster servants, or zombie servants do the job for him.)
    • He is rich, cause all the gold in the underground belongs to him, and he can hire anything he wants for free. If he is in the mood to have Piano Lessons? Bam! send Ghost Mozart to his palace!
    • So maybe… cause of the ever increasing population of the dead he gets richer every day, and access to less boring activities.
    • But probably he just stares at his monsters torturing the evil souls.
  • One Sentence Philosophy: I’m alive, but everything around me isn’t…
  • Do I Like Him?: Yeah I do… Despite all his weirdness, bitterness, and 1 star Reviews from people that visit the underworld and got out (Theseus and Hercules was some of them). He is a good guy… I mean, he doesn’t cheat on his wife (more than 2 times, later stories), and he hasn’t really punished a mortal for offending him, for lying to him? Sure! For cheating death? YEP, he does that. He’s a patient and grateful guy in a sense. (Okay, sure there is the kidnapping.. but hey, he’s lonely, cut him some slack)

Hera, Goddess Of Marriage

Hera, The Ancient Greece Equivalent Of Crazy Moms
  • Powers: Driving people crazy, making demigods suffer, shape-shifting, disguising herself (What’s the connection between this and marriage you might ask… I don’t know)
  • Domain: Marriage, Family Life, Motherhood, and most important of all… Making demigods and Zeus’s girlfriends suffer.
  • Symbol: A Peacock Feather
  • Sacred Animal: Cows, cause those things are motherly… I don’t really get this though, but if she insists, I wont cross her…
  • Personality: Firstly Hera has a HECK of an attitude. She basically has every possible method of making people annoyed, or sick of her. Also, when she gets offended, she’ll possibly find the worst indirect way of making you suffer (reminds me of some women in a bad mood). Hera does things pretty indirectly, but she is sneaky, and has lots of tricks to make someone suffer. Oh, and she is also a perfectionist.
  • Known Relics/Weapons: I’m not sure, Hera doesn’t have any cool weapons that I know of.
  • How Was She Born?:
    Unlike Hades and Poseidon and Zeus, there are some unmentioned things regarding this. Firstly, before she claimed her throne, she was sent to live with Uncle Oceanus by mother Rhea. Hera respected Oceanus not swaying to any women and pretty sea nymphs, and she felt she wants to have a husband that is just as loyal as Oceanus is to his wife. Hera decided she wants to claim her throne in Mount Olympus as the Goddess Of Marriage.
  • Official Spouse: Zeus…
  • Daily Activities:
    • Making Demigod sons of Zeus suffer
    • Finding Zeus’s latest girlfriends, and making sure they are in pain
    • Keeping the Olympian family intact by trying to resolve conflict.
    • You know, just your typical Goddess of Family life activities, making sure everyone in her family is perfect, and dumping those that aren’t
    • Oh and also, she does one thing right… she blesses newlyweds.
  • One Sentence Philosophy: So, that’s 1000 girlfriends of Zeus out of the way… 1000 to go!
  • Do I Like Her?: NOPE NOPE NOPE! She’s a perfectionist, and I already dislike women with too much of a temper, but really? Hera’s problem isn’t just her temper, but also her method of doing things, and as you might see below, those methods are totally not cool!

Demeter, Goddess of Agriculture

Demeter With This Month’s Harvest…
  • Powers: Making crops grow, or wither.
  • Domain: Plants, Growth, and Agriculture in general
  • Symbol: A Scythe, but the farming one… not the killing one
  • Sacred Animal: She doesn’t have one…
  • Personality: She’s pretty calm. She is overprotective of her daughter, Persephone, well even though she got kidnapped. She has some tantrum issues, and is very dangerous when mad. Demeter is a girl that’s well, she is in the middle, she’s not too scary like Hera, she’s not too calm either though. She enjoys nature, and plants as well. Although… She has her issues, such as her being overprotective, and some temper, but overall she’s a pretty good mom, sister, and Olympian.
  • Known Relics/Weapons: Her farming scythe
  • How Was She Born?: As a meal for Kronos
  • Official Spouse: She isn’t married to anyone, but she has some short relationships with a few mortals.
  • Daily Activities:
    • Making crops grow, giving humans food
    • Chilling by the fields, watching, and smelling plants
    • Teaching farming techniques to humans who sacrifice to her
    • Well, that one time her daughter got kidnapped, she made plants wither, and made sure no human gets to eat… Because that’s the less calm Demeter
  • One Sentence Philosophy: My daughter got kidnapped! NOBODY GETS TO EAT!
  • Do I Like Her? Hmm… I’ll stay neutral, for several reasons… One being her letting personal emotions cloud her judgement, but she’s also an overall peaceful and kind goddess, with not much wrong things for her to do. She just wants to protect all of her daughters.

Ares, God Of War

Ares, Ready for War!
  • Powers: His eyes infuriate anyone who stare onto them, He has strength and combat skills beyond compare.
  • Domain: He’s the God of War! and more stuff involving war.
  • Symbol: War Helmet, and Wild Boar
  • Sacred Animal: Wild Boar, cause those things rage without any reason… Like him!
  • Personality: He has anger issues, so… he kills people, and has an addiction to Warfare… He’s dumb in a sense… He kills people instead of talking to them, that’s a… straightforward method. He’s your typical brute. Oh, and remember Wonder Woman’s Ares? Yeah, Greek Mythology Ares isn’t as smart as that Ares. At least Wonder Woman Ares used wits… Real Ares probably won’t understand what “wits” mean.
  • Known Relics/Weapons: His Sword, His fire breathing horses (Bubi fears regular horses, and trust me, she’ll fear that more), His battle armor.
  • How Was He Born?: He was born to Hera and Zeus… As a baby, Ares broke his Father’s finger, so he got sent to a Mountain Nymph that ended up taking care of him. As a child… He learned to fight and nearly killed people… a lot of times. See, this is why you shouldn’t let Nanny’s parent your child… They’ll be like Ares!
  • Official Spouse: He doesn’t marry anyone but has lots of girlfriends. The most notable one is Aphrodite, the Goddess of Love.
  • Daily Activities:
    • Starting wars by staring at people
    • Fighting in those wars, while killing people…
    • He also spends time hurting people for no reason, especially those that offend him.
    • He also blesses people he likes with something called the Blessing Of Ares (again, the Greeks aren’t the most creative with names). Anyone blessed by him becomes invulnerable in combat.
  • One Sentence Philosophy: You think someone like Ares would have a philosophy? Nah… He’s a direct approach guy… “STAB! STAB! STAB!”.. Results are earned much faster
  • Do I Like Him?: NO! ! What do you think I am? I’m a thinker… Although he is cool and bad-ass, his coolness doesn’t beat out the fact he doesn’t think things through.

Athena, Goddess Of Wisdom

Athena, Complete With Battle Armor
  • Powers: The wisdom of ten thousand scholars, Unparalleled Strategies in the Art of War, enough to make Sun Tzu jealous.
  • Domain: She’s the Goddess of Warfare, (but the wise and strategy type, not the Ares kind.) Craft, and Wisdom
  • Symbol: Olive Trees, cause she made them…
  • Sacred Animal: Owls, cause the Greeks believe that Owls are the most wise animals, and their hoot-hoot sound at night are whispers of knowledge… OK… I won’t argue with that
  • Personality: She’s smart, but if you refer to some stories about Medusa, and Arachne, she doesn’t really use wisdom like her tagline states. She tries to use wisdom most of the times, but when I look at some things, she lets her personal emotions cloud her judgement that is supposed to have wisdom.
  • Known Relics/Weapons: Her Shield, Aegis. That shield also has Medusa’s head put in front of it, and if you know a bit about Medusa, staring onto Medusa’s eyes will turn you to stone.
  • How Was She Born?:
    This is a bit tricky… Remember Metis? No? Well, She’s the Titan Of Pure Thought, and natural law, Kronos’s sister… Anyways, Zeus married Metis before he married Hera, and Athena was born from those 2… BUT WAIT! See, A prophecy stated that Metis’s children will be wiser than his father, Zeus felt contested, so he swallowed Metis… (hang on, with Zeus’s wisdom any child will be wiser than him)But unfortunately for Zeus, Metis was already carrying Athena, and once born inside Zeus’s stomach, Athena dissolved herself onto pure thought… I don’t know how, she just did… She then got onto Zeus’s head, and gave Zeus a headache. The other gods wondered how it happened, so Hephaestus, The Blacksmith God broke open Zeus’s head, and BAM! Athena came out with full battle armor, as an adult.
  • Official Spouse: She’s an eternal maiden, she doesn’t plan on marrying or dating anyone, although there is that one time she has a son, but that’s err… tricky… so other times…
  • Daily Activities: I’m not sure about this, but if you read a lot about Athena, she enjoys…
    • Inventing new techniques to improve mankind. S
    • She also likes learning new things, and practicing her combat skills… Much better… unlike her brother Ares…
  • One Sentence Philosophy: I will use wisdom to judge everything… Unless if it’s personal!
  • Do I Like Her?: Hmm… I don’t like everything she does, because I still think that punishing people for bragging (Arachne) or punishing an innocent woman that is tricked by a god (Medusa) is definitely over the line. She should’ve been wise enough to not let her personal thoughts cloud her wisdom. On the other hand, she’s a very useful goddess for the development of humans in Greek mythology… So, I’ll stay neutral for her..

Aphrodite, Goddess Of Love

Aphrodite… Admiring Herself
  • Powers: She can make people fall in love with anyone… Anyone who looks at her will see the most beautiful woman in their imagination, literally.
  • Domain: Love, Beauty, and everything related to either one of those, except Marriage, that’s Hera’s domain.
  • Symbol: Doves, the Greeks believe of doves as messengers of love.
  • Sacred Animal: Doves, oh what a surprise, since her symbol is also that…
  • Personality: She’s… Insecure… No joke… She fears that one day someone will be prettier than her, and she often finds other men to comfort her. Good-looking men, since her husband is ugly. She gets jealous pretty quickly, and she often compares herself to other women. If even the Goddess of Beauty and Love can be insecure about some things, then… listen to that song… “Cause you are beautiful… No matter what they say, words can’t bring you down!” (or something like that.) Anyways, she also enjoys attention a lot, and enjoys making mortals suffer with her love magic… She thinks it’s funny…
  • Known Relics/Weapons: A magical Girdle (or belt), that makes people fall in love with her in an instant.
  • How Was She Born?: Remember Ouranos? If you don’t read this… yeah she’s born from some of Ouranos’s body parts and seafoam. When she got to land, she met the three goddesses that each represent the seasons, except Winter. They dressed her up, and took her to Olympus, and all of the male gods wanted to marry her in an instant cause she’s pretty. Those male gods, poor them. Oh, but Hera gave Aphrodite the worst looking god of them all, Hephaestus to marry Aphrodite. Cause if a handsome god like Zeus, Poseidon, or Ares marries her, they’d probably fight 24/7, and the earth is a battle field. Aphrodite has that effect on people…
  • Official Spouse: Hephaestus. But! She has no kids with him, and lots of kids with lots of other men, and the gods… Ares, Hermes, and Dionysus… Poor Hephaestus…
  • Daily Activities:
    • Staring at herself in a mirror…
    • Putting make up on…
    • Making mortals (and gods) fall in love with each other.
    • Although, she has a son named Eros (or you might know the Roman Name: Cupid better), to do the third part of her job when she is too busy staring at herself and wearing makeup.
    • Oh, she also enjoys getting prayers and sacrifices by making people fall in love with people that barely notice you. Blame her if you are still single!
  • One Sentence Philosophy: I’m the prettiest… RIGHT?
  • Do I Like Her?: Nope… She’s pretty, but look at that personality, and daily activities… Should be enough to give you an image of what she does, and well… No reason to like her.

Apollo, God Of Music

Apollo Striking A Pose
  • Powers: His voice is mesmerizing, His ability and wordplay is godly (of course, he’s a god), His ability to play music instruments are incomparable, and… well… just read the domain part cause this is going to be tricky, he’s the god of a gazillion things.
  • Domain: OK… Apollo is the God of… Music, Archery, Poetry, Prophecies, Art, Medicine, Plagues, The Sun, Protector Of Young Men, Cattle herding, and Anything Artistic.
  • Symbol: The Lyre, The Sun.
  • Sacred Animal: Hang on, he doesn’t have any… but He has a sacred plant known as the Laurel. Used for Wreaths, as a symbol for kings to show their glory, he’s got taste!
  • Personality: He… is a narcissistic person in a sense. He thinks he’s basically the most awesome guy that’s a symbol of perfection. But hang on, he isn’t entirely narcissistic. Apollo like I said, also has taste, he chooses the most artistic and graceful things for him to be interested on, which yes, includes Women. Apollo shows as much gracefulness and flair as he can. I don’t see much bad personalities from Apollo apart from the slight narcissism, and his ego. Well, his ego isn’t as high as Zeus, but i can assure you, he’s got LOADS of Ego. Oh and one more thing… Apollo craves to be in the spotlight. He’ll do whatever it takes to be the center of attention. Luckily he’s got lots of tools to accomplish that.
  • Known Relics/Weapons: The Sun Chariot, in which he rides the sun on, His Lyre, and The Most Important Thing… His Golden Bow!
  • How Was He Born?:
    OK… Firstly, remember Zeus’s habit of dating girls and leaving them? Well, Apollo’s dad is Zeus, and his mom? A titan named Leto, who is the Titan of motherhood. But hang on… Apollo’s birth is all forms of tragedy. Firstly, remember Hera? What’s her daily job? Oh yes, making any offspring and girlfriends of Zeus suffer. She hates Leto too much, because Leto is pregnant with twins… Hera’s curse to Leto is that Leto cannot give birth on any land with roots, which is every land… (well almost every land)The curse isn’t over yet, cause Hera must be in a VERY bad mood (those moms, their mood when it’s bad is SCARY)… Hera summoned a giant serpent called Python to make Leto’s life 10 times more miserable. So, when Leto was in labor at the 7th month of pregnancy, no land would accept her because of Hera’s curse. And oh look! A giant serpent is chasing her!Okay, so she ran around Greece with a giant snake on her tail, while in labor, and isn’t allowed to give birth. Wow, I totally respect her. So where did she give birth? Well luckily there is an island that has no roots, but is drifting around and has no solid location. You know, like Jules Verne’s Mysterious Island! So she swum there, and gave birth there, causing roots to grow there, (cause Greek Mythology demands such logic), and giving the island now known as Delos, a firm and solid location on the map

    .Apollo’s birth actually came second to his twin sister, but, he took the spotlight in an instant. He grew up immediately to the size of a 7 year old, and he sang a song that impressed every goddess that assisted Apollo’s birth, which is basically every goddess, except Hera. When he was 1 week old, he already grew up to the age of 19, cause he’s a god, he could do that… He slayed the snake Python with his golden bow, he used Python’s body, dumped it onto a cave, that created fumes used to “hear the words of the gods” in the center of Greece and called it the main source of prophecies in all of Greece! There’s Apollo’s story, so wait for his sister’s turn.

  • Official Spouse: He plans on staying a bachelor forever, and he wants to date around as much as he can, try out as many girls he can date. (Reminds me of John Mayer). His most memorable girlfriends are the 9 Muses. Those are the incredibly beautiful goddesses who create any forms of art.
  • Daily Activities: Well, Apollo has a bunch of jobs. But, his main activities include:
    • Driving the sun chariot, from 5A.M. to 6 P.M. when the sun rises or sets, while singing or writing a song I suppose.
    • Making poetry in his free time
    • Trying out prophecies to mess around someone’s life with a stupid ques
    • Getting girls. (He is a total womanizer), Teenagers nowadays will probably put him as an Ancient Greece equivalent to any One Direction member. That reminds me, if I make a band, I’ll call it the Sons Of Apollo
    • When Helios is taking his job driving the sun chariot (the Greeks got confused between the two being Sun Gods), he probably spends his time making Apollo concerts, playing with his bow and arrow, and probably inventing new medicine.
  • One Sentence Philosophy: The sun literally rises and sets on me!
  • Do I Like Him?: Hmm… Yeah I do! Of course, firstly, as a music fan myself, having a god of Music is just awesome. Apollo is also pretty cool, and like him, I like being in the spotlight! The things I don’t like about him is his narcissism but well, it’s not that bad actually.

Artemis, Goddess Of The Hunt

Artemis, With Her Pet and Bow
  • Powers: OK, she’s got Archery and hunting skills beyond compare. She also has the ability to communicate and summon wildlife.
  • Domain: Hunting, Wildlife, Archery, (She’s better than Apollo), Protection of Women, and The Moon
  • Symbol: The Crescent Moon
  • Sacred Animal: Deer, cause those things are free to roam, like her!
  • Personality: So… Artemis HATES men. Why? I’ll state below, be patient, but her personality generally revolves on her need to defend women, and protecting wildlife. She’s motherly, but she doesn’t want to be a mother. She’s also probably the first ever feminist, and she fights for women rights. Like I stated above, she also doesn’t want to be “chained down” She dislikes the concept of marriage cause of how terrible men treats women back in Ancient Greece.
  • Known Relics/Weapons: Her Silver Bow. Shaped like the crescent moon
  • How Was She Born?:
    See Apollo. But hold on! Before Apollo was born, she was born first, grew immediately to a 6 year old girl, and she helped with Apollo’s birth. After that, she wasted no time watching Apollo’s performance, because she probably got sick of it, Apollo probably spends his time in the womb singing and bragging about himself. That can really get to someone if you’re stuck together nonstop with a flashy, bragging god for 7 months straight.She instead flew to Zeus with Auntie Hestia, asked for some gifts, and permission to never get married. Her gifts are the fact she wants female followers around ages of 6-15, that are still Maidens, and she wanted them to be off limits for mortals and gods. She will teach them to hunt, and called them “The Hunters Of Artemis” Oh and she wants Hunting dogs too. Zeus grants it, cause, rich people loves to make Daddy’s Little Girl(s) happy.
  • Official Spouse: She doesn’t want to get married, or date anyone
  • Daily Activities:
    • She hunts down monsters that no heroes are taking care of, cause Apollo hasn’t prophecized about them being slain by heroes. (way to take care of your brothers mistakes).
    • She protects women, and helps with birth for women around Greece.
    • Oh, and probably she also does demonstrations about women rights like Laborers do when they feel they aren’t paid enough. (Oh wait, this is a different century)
    • Artemis also punishes people who doesn’t care about the environment, and anyone who hunts too much without a single sacrifice? Oh… She’ll destroy you… trust me on that. She once sent a HUGE WILD BOAR to a kingdom for hunting too much without any sacrifices to her. Don’t mess with Artemis, unless you want your family to Arte-miss you (I had to make that pun… sorry)
  • One Sentence Philosophy: Men Are Stupid Brutes!
  • Do I Like Her?: Hmm, I do like her taking care of the environment and fighting for women rights. I don’t like her that much though. She’s pretty cool, and trust me, she is among the nicer gods, and well I haven’t seen her do much things wrong cause of her personal ego. I can’t blame her too much actually for the hate for men, cause look at how much of a jerk the other male gods are.

Hephaestus, The Blacksmith God

Hephaestus, He Doesn’t Seem So Ugly To Me…
  • Powers: The ability to create fire, and immunity to it. Hephaestus also forges the best weapons, shields, jewelries and armors in all of Greece.
  • Domain: He’s the god of Fire, and blacksmithing.
  • Symbol: Hammer, cause he uses them for work.
  • Sacred Animal: Donkeys, cause… well, he’s crippled, but strong. Same goes for Donkeys, donkeys seem to be “crippled”, and clumsy, but they are strong, and still has some uses. Well, I’m clumsy too! (I don’t know about strong, but clumsy? sure)
  • Personality: Well, firstly you might want to read the “How was he born part”, because his personality generally revolves on it, and since I’m following a template and wants to be consistent in the template, I can’t do that. Firstly, Hephaestus is bitter, but his bitter isn’t like Hades’s. Hephaestus feels he just never gets respect. People judge the way he looks much than his gifts. Anyways, Hephaestus also cannot trust anything… He keeps getting betrayed over and over and over since he was born. He is also a hard working man, and he enjoys work, because at least if he is forging things, he can forget the bad things that has happened to him. Luckily he is overall  a nice guy.
  • Known Relics/Weapons: Every single armor every Greek hero has, cause he makes all of the armor for the popular heroes like Hercules, Theseus, Perseus, and Jason. And of course, his Hammer
  • How Was He Born?:
    Hephaestus literally has no daddy. Unlike Theseus who has 2, Hephaestus was born from Hera’s hate to Zeus’s infidelity, which explains his personality in a sense. Because of science, Hephaestus came out being incomplete and err… “Facially Challenged” (OK, ugly…). So, Hera instead of being a proper mother, demonstrated a method of proper throwing.Hera tossed Hephaestus off onto the sea from Mount Olympus, because that’s the way the Goddess of Family life should behave, which at least makes me grateful with Bubi, even though she is moody and can be dangerous in a bad mood, at least she doesn’t toss babies away… Then again, I’m telling stories of a different milLuckily, Hephaestus was caught by a sea nymph named Thetis, however the fall made his incomplete body much more broken, as it crippled one of his legs. As a child, Hephaestus used the undersea volcanoes and used them to forge jewelries for Thetis, and planned his revenge for Hera. That’s a lot of thoughts for a teenager. Thank you world for giving me a low stress life!I could make a bit of a long story here since the childhood part here is until they take their thrones atop Mount Olympus, unfortunately Hephaestus was an adult when that happened. But this is a fun story, and it made Hera suffer which is a nice plot twist for a change, Goddess of making people suffer finally suffers.

    Hephaestus made a special throne of Gold and Jewels for Hera, and when he returned, he gifted her the throne to symbolize him claiming his throne at mount Olympus. Unfortunately, the throne was a trap, and Hera became trapped in it. For a pretty long time Hera whimpered while netted in the throne, and Hephaestus enjoyed his vengeance. Well, until Dionysus, the god of wine convinced him to release Hera. Which was the end of her suffering. Too bad…

  • Official Spouse: Aphrodite, but he gets cheated on a lot, and so does he cheat her, but who cares about these 2.
  • Daily Activities: Working… Pretty much that… He’s a workaholic, spending time making lots of stuffs, like Swords, shields, armor, bows, arrows, thrones, Automatons (also known as Magical Robots), and anything made out of steel that he wants to make.
  • One Sentence Philosophy: I have friends! They’re these robots!
  • Do I Like Him?: Yeah I do, of course, anyone capable of making Hera beg for mercy is okay in my book, but not only that. Hephaestus gets betrayed so often, but he just gets on with it, I mean, he’s probably that character in Greek Mythology that gets the most challenges his entire life, excluding Hercules. He’s a strong willed man, which I totally respect.

Hermes, God Of Messengers

Hermes, Complete With Every One Of His Weapons
  • Powers: He is faster than Sonic! He is also probably Greek’s best trickster. Some poets say he can “outrun time” which according to physics! to travel to the past. But if that is true, than we have ourselves Greek Flash!
  • Domain: Anything involving trickery, (which includes stealing, and bandits), and anything involving travel, (which unfortunately, includes commercials… so now you know who to blame with that catchy commercials sounding over your head). Oh, and also dice… how did he become god of dice? err.. I have no idea.
  • Symbol: His Staff, The Caduceus, see relics and weapons
  • Sacred Animal: Turtle… WHY!? I honestly don’t understand… Hermes isn’t someone to take a deep breath and rest. If it’s a rabbit I’d understand, but turtle!? Eh… read below.
  • Personality: He’s a bit tricky and does things fast. But, he still likes taking time to plan things, and the only reason he does things fast is cause of how busy he is. He also has lots of tricks up his sleeve to get the better end of any bargain, and he is a heck of a liar. Every trick in the book? Hermes wrote that. He is sneaky in a sense, but he’s a good guy. Kinda… I’m not sure. He’s all sorts of confusing.
  • Known Relics/Weapons: The Caduceus staff, a herald’s staff with 2 snakes around it. His winged sandals, and a sword. Oh, his Caduceus staff can also be used to hypnotize people…
  • How Was He Born?:
    OK… So, he’s a son of Zeus, WOW! what a surprise! His mom was Maia, Titan of… one of Atlas’s daughters. She’s possibly Zeus’s typical girlfriend. Pretty, without much of personality. Anyways, Maia gave birth to Hermes with a low profile. She gave birth in a cave at nighttime to hide from Hera, cause she learned pretty well after Leto’s incident. After Hermes was born, Maia nursed him and made sure baby Hermes fell asleep. After he fell asleep, Maia fell asleep too.Hermes woke up the second his mom fell asleep, and for some reason, chose to not grow up cause he wants to be a baby thief. Wait? first thing he did after he was born was steal? Yeah, kinda odd, but okay… Anyways, remember that Apollo was also the God of Cattle herding? Hermes knew about that, and he wants some cows! So, he found where it was hidden, and stole 50 of em. He also made a bunch of fake footsteps so people who saw them would think the Cows walked from the beach and just followed the footsteps of a baby. Hermes ate 1 of them, and sacrificed one for the gods.Then… Hermes did whatever anyone who commited a crime to Apollo should do! Invent a new instrument! He killed a turtle, used it’s shell and used some of the leftover muscles of the cows and invented the first ever Lyre, Apollo’s favorite instrument (as of now, back then it was just invented)!Hermes hid the cows in a different cave and went back to his mommy, before she woke up. Anyways, Apollo woke up the next morning and counted his cattle, and BAM! 50 were missing. Apollo checked the footprints, and saw baby steps and cows following them. Apollo wondered what kind of a baby could possibly do this. Since Baby Apollo sang after he was born in an instant, and Baby Ares broke Zeus’s finger, so Baby gods should be capable of these stuffs. So, he kinda asked for some news about the latest baby god births. Well, Apollo found out about Maia giving birth to Hermes. He found him, and asked him about the cows. Well, he lied, but Apollo felt convinced he stole the cows… I don’t really know why…

    He took Hermes to his (and Hermes’s) father, Zeus for some punishments. Apollo demanded that Hermes must be punished for stealing his cattle. Well, anyways, Zeus said Hermes must pay any price Apollo demands, cause he’s probably too lazy to choose a real punishment. Well, here is where the Lyre comes in! He played the Lyre, caused Apollo to fall in love with it, and traded out Apollo’s cattle for it. Also, since he is a god on bargaining stuff, he got every single one of his relics stated above as a bonus! Wow, Hermes, nice manipulation of one’s personality! Oh, and one more thing… Remember kids, don’t steal!

  • Official Spouse: He isn’t married to anyone… but he does date lots of people. So, single people that are busy, even Hermes can find his love life, with his insanely busy schedule. Don’t use work as an excuse! 😀
  • Daily Activities: Oh boy… Okay, so here are Hermes’s activities
    • Delivering Zeus’s packages as his personal courier using Hermes Express, Olympus’s very own courier and delivery system! If you believe the fact Hermes can outrun time, he must deliver these stuff faster than you ordered them.
    • Guiding souls to the underworld using Underworld Touring cause Hades can’t do that
    • Doing Zeus’s stealing and dirty work, I guess that’s his favorite part of the job
    • Helping quests for some heroes by delivering them relics for their adventures and quests
    • Probably running an online E-Commerce known as Olympedia, with the Caduceus staff as a mascot!
  • One Sentence Philosophy: Hermes Express! Receive Today, What You Order Tomorrow!
  • Do I Like Him?: Hmm…. I can’t say why, but I’ve always liked Hermes when I look at him, and his statues. Plus, he’s basically the Greek God equivalent of The Flash, my favorite Superhero, so why not?

Dionysus, God Of Wine

Dionysus, Probably Posing For A Party
  • Powers: Growing grapes, making wine, creating food, and making people insane…
  • Domain: Wine, Theater, Partying, Revelry
  • Symbol: Thrysus, a staff with a pine cone on top.
  • Sacred Animal: Leopard, he likes them cause he thinks those are graceful, I guess… Anyways, Dionysus began the trend of wearing a leopard skin coat.
  • Personality: He… Gets drunk and doesn’t even give a care about the world when he is performing his “rituals”. He also enjoys art, and doesn’t care a bit about work, he’s that guy who says, Drink! BE MERRY! Tomorrow You May DIE! So Enjoy LIFE! He doesn’t care about being busy, as he basically “buys” (read: creates) the food of his followers, and as long as you worship him, you’ll get fed. On that note, I’d probably say that Dionysus is the equivalent of Apollo that gets drunk, and doesn’t work as hard as Apollo.
  • Known Relics/Weapons: Thrysus, like his symbol
  • How Was He Born?:
    Ok this is a bit tricky. Zeus is his dad, (like every Olympian who isn’t one of his siblings) and Dionysus was born a demigod, but became a god eventually, anyways… Zeus dated a girl in Thebes known as Semele, who was basically the prettiest princess of her generation. Cause Zeus’s taste is pretty easy to guess… Pretty! Semele was pregnant with Zeus’s baby (who became Dionysus)Hera visited Thebes and convinced Semele to force Zeus into showing him his true form… Which literally burns mortals. Zeus did it because he already swore on the River Styx (which is an oath you CANNOT break, unless you want the spirit of hate, to hate you…). So Semele is now burned, but the baby? Survived! Hanging in midair cause… Greek Logic… Zeus cut open his thigh and put the baby there to grow, giving the baby a temporal womb.Once born, Zeus cut open his thigh, and gave the baby to Hermes, naming him Bacchus for now (which is Dionysus’s Roman name too!), and told Hermes to give the baby to Semele’s older sister, and forcing her to treat Bacchus as his own son.Bacchus’s childhood is a LONG story, because Hermes came up with a few tricks for Semele’s sister to take care of him without having Hera catching them. Anyways, after Hera found out about the baby Bacchus, when Bacchus was 8, she drove Semele’s sister and husband to madness, causing them to leap off a cliff, while carrying their actual children. Cause Hera just gives a great example of family life and showing love right?

    This can go on and on and on, because he gained the title Dionysus as a child, and invented wine as a child too, but I’ll cut it here.

  • Official Spouse: Ariadne… Read Theseus’s story, cause he saved Ariadne, and made her his immortal wife.
  • Daily Activities: PARTY!
  • One Sentence Philosophy: What’s Work?
  • Do I Like Him?: NOPE NOPE NOPE!!! There is nothing to like about a god who spends his time being drunk, and partying… “But Azriel…” Shush! I don’t want to hear anything about supporting Dionysus! NA AH

Jaja’s Greek Mythology, The Beginning, Part 2

Jaja’s Greek Mythology, The Beginning, Part 2

I’ve recently taken more interest in Greek Mythology (I have been interested at it for a long time, but more recently), and decided to write them up using my version, and my own words. Jaja’s Greek Mythology is a series where I tell stories about a certain hero, god, or goddess. I will try to post a mythological figure every 2 weeks. Currently, I’m reviewing the beginning, since humans weren’t invented yet, and so are the Greek gods we know of.

Whoa… It’s been a month? Sorry for not posting for a long time.. anyways, do enjoy the article…

Previously, the Sky was killed, and was far too traumatized to return to the Earth, Kronos was cursed, and most of the Titans got married, except Kronos.

After all the fuss from last month’s story, Gaia, decided to sleep, since everything seemed fine to her. How long did she sleep? Oh I don’t know, 4000 years? Anyways she still has some strength to project her consciousness, but she can’t wake up and project a physical form.

Also, on a side note, Gaia is like Bubi… She has a temper, but she is a good mom. But Jaja… does that mean she gets mad easily? Well… Not as fast as Bubi in a bad mood, but I guess yes… Killing Ouranos was her idea after all.

Kronos was scared of the curse from his father, which I think makes sense, but even as King of Everything, he is annoyed, how come his brothers and sisters have children, and is enjoying life, but he can’t enjoy his life, even though he is literally king of everything? See, that is the problem with Kronos, as powerful as he is, he is very insecure. It’s weird how people are like that.

Not to mention Rhea, the youngest sister (who was the prettiest according to some poems) wasn’t married yet, so maybe, (just maybe) Kronos could marry her, and not have kids.

Funny story? When you google Rhea, the Titan, even before marriage, along with Leto she is already crowned as Titan of Motherhood. Which is weird, WHY OH WHY? Would you select someone who rules over motherly stuff, when you do not want kids.

Despite being a gentle Titan, Rhea can be feisty, and she considered an animal to be her symbol. So she chose Lions as her sacred animal. Feisty, and in a sense they are motherly.

So, anyways, Rhea was convinced (read: forced) to marry Kronos, cause he is practically Adolf Hitler, if you don’t agree with the Fuhrer, you would be executed.

The weirdest part? Kronos decided that kids would be fine, maybe only a Titan would be born, and how bad can it be? Besides, Kronos could kill the Titan when he seems to have the slightest bit of a chance to overpower him, and take over.

But well 9 months after Kronos and Rhea got married, a Baby Girl was born, Rhea named her Hestia. She presented the baby to Kronos, and well, little Hestia didn’t even look like a Titan, she radiated energy, and has a glowing aura surrounding her. She was a Goddess, (so that’s a Goddess invented in the world, we only need humans now) the first one (to be known) in fact.

Kronos used his powers on time, and pictured Hestia in the future, he saw Hestia being stronger than the Titans. He saw Hestia doing things a Titan cannot do, such as shapeshifting, radiating energy, commanding the world, and some more godly stuff. So, I’ll give you 10 seconds to guess what did he do.

Done? So, you might think, he killed Hestia, but nope, he couldn’t, remember when I mentioned Rhea’s sacred animal being Lions? (She is technically the Lion Queen :D) She brought them, anywhere she went. Scary? Well I would be scared when I meet a girl with lions around her. Kronos thought that too.

So, Kronos opened his mouth as wide as a Hippopotamus yawning, and. . . Kronos ate Hestia. . .

Hestia Given To Kronos…

Rhea freaked out, but what can she do? Kronos still controls everything, and time, and still has his Scythe. Unless she wanted to be like Ouranos, then fighting isn’t an option. Besides, Rhea is gentle by heart, although she is feisty, she won’t fight unless she has to. Wait, if you were her would you fight? I wouldn’t… Kronos is scary…

Here is another picture of his scariness…

Remember how scary he was?

On the bright side, Hestia wasn’t dead. She is immortal, and she could still grow, even inside of Kronos’ stomach. Gross? Nods in agreement.

Okay, so not long after, Kronos wanted more kids :/ Really? KRONOS? I think he has an obsession with his Dad’s curse, and wants to prove Ouranos wrong . So, Rhea gave birth to, a baby girl, cuter, and radiating a stronger aura than Hestia, she named her Demeter, what happened? She became lunch.

Third child? (Yeah, Kronos is a pushover) A Little Cute Goddess, named Hera. For Kronos, maybe she is called afternoon snack.

Baby number four, a boy, finally it’s a boy, does that give him a better chance of survival? HAHA… Nope… He’s still not a Titan, and also the strongest one yet. Hades became a meal too.

Number five. . . A boy god, glowing with an aura that is stronger than the others, Poseidon, but Kronos ate him, like he did with 4 of the older siblings.

Okay, Rhea should have like left Kronos by now. But, where would she go? I mean, literally everything is Kronos’ domain, and running to anywhere that isn’t his territory (e.g. Tartarus) means death. She could complain to her other Brothers and Sisters, but all of the male Titans, which also meant her Nephews, and Brothers, worked for Kronos.

Except, Epimetheus and Prometheus, because they were busy playing and inventing other life forms. You might heard of them, but Prometheus called them Mini-Titans, or Man for short (this isn’t true, but I like the coincidence). Yup, Prometheus invented us, based on Greek Mythology. Yaay, we exist now.

Prometheus Invents Us From Clay

What happened to humans back then? Imagine that we are toys, and the Titans are babies, without any parents supervision. We are toys that they break. We are small, and chances they won’t notice us, and we got stepped on.

Back on track, as for the Female Titans, they are afraid of Kronos, and can’t really do a thing but tell her to be patient.

Hang on, just before the sixth child of Rhea and Kronos was born…

Remember the Cyclops and Hecatoncheires? (I spelled this without googling, yaay) Kronos decided to dump them onto Tartarus… Again. Why? Kronos was annoyed, of their loud behavior. The uglier brothers of Kronos had a hobby of building stuff, which is LOUD LOUD LOUD. Back then building stuff requires a hammer, and blacksmithing stuff, and a blacksmith is noisy. So, Kronos tossed them onto Tartarus and found the perfect warden.

She is Ugly, and scary. Their Warden is a she-monster named Kâmpe. Imagine a dragon body, with a bunch of animal heads as a belt, and snake as hairs. If you are a boy you might think “That’s awesome!”. But no, it’s gross, in fact, here is a picture.

Kampe, She-Monster

Back on Rhea, what did she do?

She decided to ask for one more children, but this time, she decided to gave birth outside of Mount Othrys, if Kronos asks, she can say that it’s a prophecy from Phoebe and Koios, or something like that. She asked Gaia where to give birth, and she answered, even while asleep, she said Crete. Why Crete? Maybe Gaia was too sleepy to think so she just mumbled something.

So, Rhea left and gave birth in Crete. A handsome and strong son was born, and raised in a cave at Mount Ida. Rhea named her Zeus (the meaning of Zeus? Alive, and that is all of her hopes on him), and she told the Nymphs and Satyrs of Crete to babysit Zeus until he was grown up.

What’s a nymph? It’s a spirit that is connected to a natural object like trees, or water, or mountains. A satyr is a half goat half man creature, thing. They were born from the blood of Ouranos.

What did Rhea do to replace the baby? She used a rock. Remember on part 1’s ending I said the Titans lack brains? Kronos literally ate the rock, and pretended it was a job well done.

Rhea did not want to divorce Kronos (since the Greeks have no concept on divorce, at least yet, or… I’m not entirely sure actually), but he told him she wanted NO MORE KIDS! Ever.

Kronos was fine with that, and he was dumb enough to think he was safe.

Okay, 18 years later, complete with Spongebob screen and narrator voice…

Kronos: He can’t think. No seriously, you can’t think with a stomachache. With 5 teenage gods on his belly, Kronos proved that Teenagers are a pain, only for him… literally. Yo, Jaja, aren’t you a teenager? True, I never said I wasn’t a pain.

Rhea: Over the past 18 years, she visited Zeus a lot, and gave Zeus the worst bedtime stories which consist of the stories I have told you up there, and last episode.

Zeus: He became a strong god, and was determined to free his siblings, and avenge his dad. I guess stories from a mom could really affect someone’s personality. (This is proven psychologically too!)

Okay, so pretty much, Rhea gave Zeus a command. Transform onto a Titan, and apply as a cup bearer, for Kronos at his palace.

Zeus went onto the palace at Mount Othrys, and he became the most popular servant at the palace. Why?

  1. He was the most handsome servant.
  2. He has the best jokes to entertain his father, uncles, and cousins, although Kronos doesn’t know Zeus is his son.
  3. He was so good at bearing cups, and was pretty fast at doing his own job too.

One day, after his popularity increased, Zeus conjured some special nectar concoction, and he challenged Kronos onto a drinking contest with every other Titan. Kronos did agree, and he and all of the Titans drank whatever Zeus gave them.

You know what Zeus gave them? He gave Kronos something that would make him barf up his siblings, and he gave the rest of his Titans a sleep potion.

So, while his uncles and cousins fell asleep, Kronos barfed every single teenage god and goddess in his belly. Gross… Please tell me you’re not eating right?

So, they ran away, and Zeus thought of a plan for them. Zeus’s plan pretty much went like this…

  1. Release the Hecatoncheires and Cyclops
  2. Have them build weapons for them
  3. Kill the Titans
  4. Be the kings of the universe
  5. Split up the world, using some lottery
  6. Cheat the lottery so Zeus gets the best pick 😀

He didn’t mention number 6 though.

They went onto Tartarus as bats (the gods could shapeshift, how do you think that they’d fit in Kronos’ belly?). They found the Cyclops and Hundred Handed Ones, they saw Kâmpe, and they saw the torture she did to them. Kâmpe forced these poor monsters to work, and then she disassembled the weapons on her own, when she sees some progress. Their work will never-ever be done.

So Zeus whispered to them something like this…

  • Zeus: Yo dudes, I’m your Nephew, Zeus. You want to get out of here?
  • Briares: How do we get out?
  • Zeus: Build us 3 weapons
  • Briares: What about Kâmpe?
  • Zeus: Build something that we can use to kill her. Construct 3 different parts, and then throw it to us, let us assemble it.
  • Briares: K bro, will you let us out then?
  • Zeus: Sure, just help us kill Kronos
  • Briares: Love to do that.

So, Briares, the other Hundred Handed Ones, and the Cyclops constructed a harmless piece, assembled them when Kâmpe wasn’t looking, and tossed it onto the Gods and Goddesses.

Zeus caught the first weapon. What is it? It’s a Lightning Bolt. Zeus’s Lightning Bolt is like a nuclear bomb, if you get struck by that… Immortals would survive as toast, let alone mortals. He immediately killed Kâmpe with it.

Zeus and His Bolt

What about the others? Well, Zeus didn’t give them a chance, cause he wants to showoff. His ego is as large as Mount Othrys.

Anyways, The Hundred Handed Ones, and Cyclops made another weapon, it is a staff with 3 points on the edge, called a Trident. Poseidon called Dibs, and he held it. That weapon has the ability to create storms, every point has a storm swirling, and when Poseidon struck it onto the ground, an Earthquake occured. He could also summon and control waters with it.

Poseidon’s Three Edged Trident

They made one last weapon (HAHAHAH, this isn’t a weapon, it’s a trinket). They made a helm for Hades. Poor guy, he put it on and he became Invisible, on the bright side, anyone looking at the Helmet of Darkness (Hades decided to give it a cool name so it’s not so bad) would have nightmares, and fear flowing all over them.

Hades’s Magneto Helmet…

Wait, what about Hera, Demeter, and Hestia? Nope, Girls don’t get weapons.

Before I get to the War between Kronos and Zeus, Zeus and Rhea tried their best to recruit some of the Titans to fight and support them. Everyone afraid of Kronos, which is all of the female titans, sided with Zeus, Prometheus, and Epimetheus also sided with Zeus. Probably they got sick of them.

Helios, Selene, and Oceanus decided to remain Neutral, as long as they could keep their jobs, regardless of who won and not get killed. Although, when the gods took over, they retired anyways, but, hey, they didn’t get punished.

The war between the Gods and Titans lasted for 5 years, cause Kronos was playing with time and made things feel slow. Guess who won? The gods, but how?

They fought brutally, and Greece was probably thrashed like my room if Alice was in it while no one is watching. That’s very messy, for the record. After a frontal assault did not work, they tried something more indirect.

They know that they have some advantages over the Titans. They have ballistic powers, and could win in a long range combat. So, they decided to throw out everything they’ve got, and then finish the Titans once they’ve taken everything.

The gods climbed up Mount Olympus, a 9000 foot tall mountain next to it, which is about 1000 feet less taller than Mount Othrys, who is towering at 10000-ish. Here’s what they did, and it’s all Zeus leading, by giving the others a bunch of commands, and overall this is what they did.

  • Zeus throws down a bunch of lightning bolts, conjure up a storm and everything thunder related.
  • Poseidon is told to create an earthquake and summon tidal waves from the seas.
  • The Cyclops should forge up some gigantic rocks and hurl them in a catapult.
  • The Hecatoncheires would hurl the rocks that the Cyclops made. With their 100 hands, and since there is 3 of them, they could throw 300 rocks per toss.
  • Hades would wear his cool named helmet and be invisible.
  • The girls would watch.

Yup, I pity Hades and the girls.

So, next morning, on Mount Othrys, a storm and earthquake woke up everyone. Once they’ve gotten their consciousness back after the surprise attack, it was raining rocks. Everything was crumbling, and well the palace got destroyed, half of the mountain crumbled on top of them, and the waters swept them away, leaving them helpless under the rubble of their own palace.

Mount Othrys Crumbling

After the dust settled, the Titans were given some punishments, but I honestly don’t think they deserve it. Except Kronos, and that is all cause he swallowed his children.

Why? Aren’t they cruel? Firstly, despite the Nazi-like dictatorship, they are literally the only things that lived back then, humans did exist, but they can’t really do a thing to them, since they died as fast as a fly when compared to the timeline of the titans.

Scientific Fact and Math… Flies live and die in one week-ish, when accounting their time as an egg and larva, if Humans live for 70 years on average, Flies only live for 1/3650 of our lives. Titans maybe have lived for 6000-7000 years, so then 100% of our lives are only 1% of theirs, so we wouldn’t matter much would we?

Ok for the punishments…

Female Titans are allowed to marry Gods, and so are the better Male Titans like Prometheus and Epimetheus. Some versions state that those 2 brothers are rewarded with the right to name and make every Animal on Earth, like they did with us. We must be an experiment for them…

The 4 Titans holding the world pillars are cast to Tartarus, and they are chained, with the Cyclops and Hundred Handed Ones as their wardens. They were happy for all the bad things they’ve done to them

Atlas, who is Kronos’ General, and is super strong, kinda like Superman… was tricked onto holding the sky. Why? The 4 pillars owned by Iapetus, Krios, Hyperion, and Koios are locked in place, if no one is locking the pillars as king, the Sky is falling! I don’t get the Chicken Little logic here, but ok… Now Atlas is locked and chained up, forced to live with a sore neck, stuck under the weight of the Sky.

Atlas Holding The Sky

Wait! Physics Break before we get to Kronos! If a star smaller than our sun (not many of those) has about 50-80% of the Sun’s mass, and Jupiter’s mass is about 1/1000th of a sun, and Earth is about 1/1000th of Jupiter… Then Atlas would carry the weight of at least 5.000.000 Earths. That’s not accounting any constellation, and just about 10 Dwarf Stars. So, Atlas needs to be super strong to lift that. In fact, Superman can lift earth, and that means, Atlas needs to be able to be as strong as 5.000.000 Kryptonians after Red Sun Exposure.

OK… Kronos… He got a taste of his own medicine. He was cut up by Hades, Poseidon, and Zeus, with his own Scythe, only now, he is thrown to Tartarus, inside of a coffin. The Scythe was then gifted to Demeter, cause she wants to use it for farming, and agricultural stuff.

With Kronos out of the way, now Poseidon, Hades, and Zeus split up a lottery. The gods all agreed that Earth must only be neutral territory, with Humans as a collaboration project. The domains that they may claim include the Sky, Sea, and Underworld… Wait, what about Oceanus? He… I’m actually not sure, but I think he split up the ocean with Poseidon, and eventually retired, giving Poseidon full responsibility

Unexpectedly… Zeus got first pick (Cause he cheated… see Step 6 above), so he picked The Sky as his domain, and he will rule from the peak of Mount Olympus, watching on humans, dating mortal princesses, and just enjoying life as king.

Poseidon on the other hand got second pick, and he got the Ocean. So, 2nd place? Well, not bad… But he got Saltier than the oceans, cause he only got second place. He should be grateful…

Hades? Alright, so… You know how he has bad luck with being the oldest son, and 2 irresponsible brothers? You know how bad his luck is when he only got a helmet as a weapon? Well… His domain is his worst luck yet. He got Erebos, a.k.a. The Underworld and isn’t allowed to visit Olympus. Right… Sorry Hades.

Well, they became better rulers overall, and they finally made use for us humans, and let us develop… so that’s a start for Greek Writers to write up Greek Mythology in the first place.

Ok… The story ends here, but check back next week for my next Greek Mythology episode which will be a guideline and introduction for the most well-known Greek Gods.

 

Jaja’s Greek Mythology – The Beginning, Part 1

Jaja’s Greek Mythology – The Beginning, Part 1

I’ve recently taken more interest in Greek Mythology (I have been interested at it for a long time, but more recently), and decided to write them up using my version, and my own words. Jaja’s Greek Mythology is a series where I tell stories about a certain hero, god, or goddess. I will try to post a mythological figure every 2 weeks. For now, let’s take a step back, and start at the beginning.

I won’t post events based on the timeline, but I would at least describe how myths begin and end. I’ve done the Theseus story and the world was definitely created by then.

DISCLAIMER: What You May Read Down Below May Be Violent, I Don’t Recommend Using This As A Bedtime Story, Unless You Want Your Child To Have Nightmares.

In most cultures, par the Greeks, earth was created by the gods, on Greek Mythology, the Earth, and Sky created the gods… Well, sort of gods, I would not necessarily call them gods, but as for now, let’s just look at what the Greeks thought of until the “Big Bang” happened.

Everything was an empty void, Chaos was all that loomed, and well the name of the void is literally Chaos. Was it Chaotic back then? Nope, everything is literally what you would feel when you close your eyes, and wear an earplug. Nothing. But well, apparently “Nothing” has a consciousness, and Mr. (or Mrs.) Nothing here thought that: “Man… an empty Void is BORING”, which is what you feel if you are closing your eyes, lying down, and wearing earplugs. Heck, I’m not even sure I would have lasted 3 minutes with Nothing but Chaos, and boredom.

So Chaos willed Gaia to exist. What is Gaia you might ask? You’re standing on it right now, unless you’re on a plane, that is. Gaia is Mother Earth. She isn’t a Mom yet, but well she is female. I’m thinking of something simple here, If Chaos got bored, out of 2 options of gender, Chaos chose a girl, which is the gender of making things complex until you can’t even understand it anymore. Maybe Chaos hasn’t thought that through too much.

Gaia has the ability to project her consciousness onto the form of a woman. Anywhere the earth is, she can appear there. But, well, eventually it got boring. Gaia stared onto emptiness and apart from the Earth? Everything is still a Void, so if you stared from a mountain, what you saw was blackness, and nothing else. You guessed it… BORING.

So, Gaia willed for something else to be a boundary between the Void and Earth. She formed a sky, who is the first male. The sky was named Ouranos, which by the way, is Greek for Uranus. Now you know the origin name of Uranus, bonus points! Ouranos could also deploy his consciousness onto the Earth, and gave Gaia someone to talk with. Gaia also created a Dark Pit, called Tartarus, who is also a Male personification, inside of the Earth. Tartarus was a part of the underworld, and is only a 9 day fall away from the Earth, just find a hole to Tartarus, leap onto it, and BAM, you’ll be at Tartarus 9 days later, and you thought Bekasi was far away…

For Now, Both Chaos and Gaia has Created 5 things.

The Sea, with Pontus as the personification, The Underworld, called Erebos, The Dark Pit, known as Tartarus, which is basically the Underworld, but way deeper than that, The Sky, personified as Ouranos, and Definitely, Gaia, as The Earth.

Pontus, Appearing Physically
The Underworld, Currently Still Empty
The Deepest Depths Of The Underworld, Tartarus, A Prison For Monsters

(Note that Humans are not sent to Tartarus, but it’s pretty hard finding a picture of hell that isn’t for humans, and that was the best one I found)

 

Ouranos visited Gaia a lot of times since they should be very bored with their task of keeping the Earth and Sky alive, most of the things that you could see back then, were already a part of their bodies.

They eventually fell in love with each other and had a first batch of children that was new creatures, that well, these creatures were not like them. They are not personifications of something else. They are large giants, called The Titans and they were the first the first gods.

Their names… You don’t have to memorize them, they’ll only be a part of this story, and well a bit more on the next ones, but they aren’t as commonly retold like the Greek gods we know of. Okay, but for the male ones, their names are: Oceanus, Krios, Koios, Iapetus, Hyperion, and Kronos. The girls’ names: Phoebe, Themis, Theia, Tethys, Rhea, and Mnemosyne.

Ouranos Standing Near Gaia And Their Cute Baby Titans.

Good luck pronouncing those names, by the way.

Anyways, Ouranos didn’t really care about his kids, and didn’t even visit Gaia that often, maybe he isn’t the Daddy type. As for Gaia, she really loves her kids, and every time Ouranos visited, Gaia reported she has new children.

The second batch of children are triplets with one eye, and are as large as the Titans. They are known as the Elder Cyclopes, opposed to the regular Cyclopes, they are immortal. Yeah, that’s all I found, they were the first Cyclopes to ever roam the Earth. Their names are Brontes, Steropes, and Arges.

A Cyclops, They’re Giants With 1 Eye

They were UGLY, only a mother could love them. I meant that literally. Ouranos maybe thinks “They can’t be my sons! They are ugly, I’m the sky, of course I’m handsome”. So, he proved and showed Gaia he literally is not the Daddy type, and Ouranos threw all of those poor one eyed men onto Tartarus, so he never has to see them ever again.

Gaia was devastated, she was a very motherly being, but well, she still gave Ouranos a chance. She gave Ouranos one more date, maybe he’s changed. Who knows?

Well Homer (the writer, not the yellow one) must’ve known.

Gaia gave birth to the Hecanto… Wait, I don’t know how to spell this, I’m googling first . . . Hecatoncheires. To put it simple, imagine a gigantic man, with 100 arms, and 50 heads. They are known as The Hundred Handed Ones, and I recommend calling them that instead, as it is easier to say, and makes it easier for me to spellcheck :D. Take a guess. . . If Ouranos cast away people with a Large Eye on the center, what would he do to something 100 times more gross than that? Since Murder hasn’t been invented yet, he cast away the Hundred Handed Ones to Tartarus. Their Names: Cottus, Briares, and Gyges. Much easier to pronounce than the Titans.

A Hecatoncheires, Ew

Gaia got fed up of Ouranos’ definition on parenting. So, she asked all of his kids to do something. Kronos, the youngest of the 12 came out with an idea. Now, Kronos when compared to his brother’s, he doesn’t really excel at anything. But Kronos is the Cruelest, most Crooked, Titan.

Now, imagine what would a guy like Kronos do? Well, he suggest that his brothers catch his father, stretch his arms. . . And, he would do his part… Okay, Kronos is known as “The Crooked One”, not long after this and I did recommend you to not read this as a bedtime story. Oceanus wants nothing to do with this, he just played and met with his uncle Pontus, because he loved the oceans and waters.

Kronos promised the 4 of his brothers that he would split the earth, and give each of them their own territory if they agreed, so they did. Kronos is good at getting those business deals.

So, Gaia invited Ouranos for one more night, and she wore the most beautiful dress made out of tree barks, and jewels she found inside the Earth. Ouranos was astounded when she met Gaia, but he was surprised. His 4 sons caught him and pushed him down on the ground stretching his arms.

Kronos already prepared a special weapon for this occasion, he invented a Scythe, you know, those things that the Grim Reaper carries. Before he cut up his father, Ouranos cursed Kronos, he said that “One Day, You Will Suffer The Same Fate As I Do, Your Throne Will Be Taken By One Of Your Children!”. Kronos did not really care about it at the moment, he just enjoyed cutting up his father, until he lost his consciousness, and the sky lost its personification. He threw what was left of his father onto the ocean, and from seafoam, and his body parts, a goddess was born. She would be rather intrigung, but I do not like her personality, so maybe we’ll postpone her.

Now you might be thinking, THE SKY IS DEAD? WHAT THE HECK IS UP THERE THEN? Okay, Ouranos is technically immortal, but he can’t maintain any more consciousness, or a physical form, it probably takes him all of what’s left of his might to keep the sky up and running. He might be able to appear in physical form, if he wants the sky to disappear, which would lead to him, and everything on Earth dying. Now, the sky is still there, but it has nothing to keep it afloat, so the Titans split up the world onto 4 pillars, one on each corner of the Earth, to hold the sky.

Kronos released his brothers the Elder Cyclopes, and the Hundred Handed Ones, on one condition, he requested them to build the most beautiful palace on Mount Othrys, the tallest Mountain back then. So they did, they were the best constructors anyone could get in Ancient Greece, because well, the Hundred Handed Ones has 49 more pairs of arms to work with, and the Cyclops were VERY strong.

Now each Titan ended up living happily, and each of them ruled a point, with Kronos becoming the King of everything. Oceanus who refused to help was not given a point, but was given the Sea, and well, that’s how the phrase “Ocean” came out. Oceanus didn’t really mind getting the sea, he always enjoyed the waters.

Now pretty much each Titan got a spouse, which since no one else existed, were their sisters, and a point in the world, and some kids. But Kronos did not want anything to do with kids, because of Ouranos’ curse. Kronos stated that the Golden Age has begun, the time where Titans ruled the earth, but still no humans. For now, I’m gonna give you the specialty, spouse, and children of each Titan.

Oceanus got the Sea, and well, was The Titan of The Sea, that is until the gods come along. He expanded the sea to cover Earth, and the Sea is now mostly water. This is probably the Greek Myth version of the Continental Drift. He married Tethys, and the two of them became the parent to every river in all of Greece. Tethys became the Titan of, actually nothing to be honest, she is known as Oceanus’ wife. They had a daughter named Clymene.

Oceanus, The Eldest Son

Iapetus became the Titan of the West, and he is probably the best Titan in combat, his name literally meant “The Piercer”. Which means Iapetus is the Greek Version of Vlad Dracula. But on a more serious note, he impales anyone he fights, pierces them brutally, and well, he was a pretty strong Titan. Iapetus isn’t flashy, he is a calm Titan, but once you get him mad, well, he’ll go all Vlad on you.

Iapetus The Piercer, Also Known As Greek Vlad Dracula

Iapetus married a Titan named Clymene, who is his niece, she is the daughter of Oceanus and Tethys, oh my Titans, that’s just weirder… Anyways, they had 3 sons, one is named Atlas, who became Kronos’ general, and one is called Prometheus who is very smart by the way his name literally meant forethought, so he thinks things through before doing it. The last son is called Epimetheus, which literally meant afterthought, and well, he isn’t that smart, because he does things and then think.

Hyperion became the Titan of the East, and called himself the Lord Of The Light, cause sunlight travelled from east to west, and he managed to channel all light, and made himself a shiny showoff. He married Theia, who was the Titan of Clear Sight, and well she loved everything shiny, which, speaking of Shiny, there is a Lord of The Light, so… anything shinier than that? His daughter and son became the personification of the Sun and the Moon. Their names are Helios and Selene, and they are just glowing and glimmering like their father and mother.

The Shiny Titan, Hyperion.

The Statue Isn’t Shiny Cause Lamps and Light Bulbs Were Not Invented Yet

Koios ended up with the Northern Point, and he has the ability of Prophecies, he could ask questions to the sky, and get them answered. Honestly, I think Ouranos’ Spirt is the one who told him all of that, and he was alive, but he is probably traumatized to return back to Earth. Anyways, Koios became the Titan of Intelligence, he also passed down the power of prophecies down onto his Grandson, Apollo, which is known as the god of Prophecies, and a dozen more things, but that is for later.

Koios, Titan Of The Stars

Koios married Phoebe and had 2 children, Leto, Titan of Motherhood, and Asteria, Titan of the Stars. Phoebe ran her own Prophecy business, called the Oracle of Delphi, and it’s the most important Prophecy Center in all of Ancient Greece. Back then Oracles are the malls where socialites take selfies and post onto their social medias, so having the best Oracle in all of Greece is equivalent to having the best mall in the world.

Krios took the South, Krios is a silent Titan, and all he did all day was look at the southern constellations, and think, and all the boring stuff. He has a Ram as a symbol, because the Ram constellation showed up in the Southern Hemisphere of the sky. Krios is also one of the smartest Titans, and is known as Titan of Constellations. He didn’t marry any of her sisters, but he does have some kids with someone named Eurybia, Titan of… Krios’ wife. Nothing else

I couldn’t find a picture of Krios because he seems to be boring and the Greeks didn’t bother to make a statue of him.

Oh, by the way, Themis didn’t get married, and became a mediation Titan if there is some conflict. Officially known as Titan of Justice and Natural Law.  She is very wise, and is normally called if there is some conflict between her brothers.

Mnemosyne also did not get married, but she became the Titan of Memory, and oh boy… She is boring. She is that girl who knows everything and corrects every single wrong thing you say. Yup, you might guess why she didn’t get married.

Kronos, didn’t marry anyone yet, but he is very happy and became King Of The Universe, and Lord Of Time, like Doctor Who, you know, the name of the Alien Species he is, is Timelord. Anyways he can’t travel through time, but he could accelerate and make things seem fast, or decelerate and make things slow. He used to travel around Greece, and accelerate things so they get old and wither. Then he slows it down, so they die a painful and miserable death. . . Wow, that’s cruel, and well, I did mention that he is a sociopath right?

World’s First Ever Murderer, and Time Lord, Kronos

No One dared to dispute Kronos, cause well, dude would stop at nothing to keep his throne. What part of Cruelest, and Most Crooked you don’t understand? Oh regarding the curse, wait for next time.

So story ends, at least for now, and by the way, Bubi likes the Titans stories more than the gods, cause the Titans are less human-like than the Greek Gods, showing more strength and just overall more cocky, the way a deity should be. They do lack the brains though, and you’ll see more of that later.

Wait for Part 2!

 

Jaja’s Greek Mythology: Theseus Edition

Jaja’s Greek Mythology: Theseus Edition

I’ve recently taken more interest in Greek Mythology (I have been interested at it for a long time, but more recently), and decided to write them up using my version, and my own words. Jaja’s Greek Mythology is a series where I tell stories about a certain hero, god, or goddess. I will try to post a mythological figure every 2 weeks. This is just my first story, so I would appreciate feedback.

I started writing this story on Theseus, 2 weeks ago, and have only finished it recently. It was originally written in 3 parts.

Theseus Part 1

Theseus was a Greek Hero, he was a son of Poseidon (some versions state that he is purely mortal… But he seems so strong its nearly impossible for him to NOT be a demigod. Also some versions state that he has two fathers… one being Poseidon, the other being the King of Athens, I’m using that version). He is known for his rash and impulsive behavior. He also has a characteristic way of beating up bad guys by throwing them around like a child would with a toy. He is also known for being easily distracted. Sounds like a superpowerful dude with attention span problems. What makes Theseus different apart from being a stereotypical demigod, is that he is very clever, which I like that about him.

Lets see..

Theseus was the stepson (or real son) of the King Of Athens, the biggest city and the most democratic in Greece, i’m not saying it was the most powerful however. When he was born, cause the king was afraid his enemies that seek his throne in Athens, precisely his brother, heir to the throne and his brother’s 14 sons. wait.. was it 14 or 28.. Oh yeah.. 28 sons… WHAT THE . . . 28 SONS!?

EDIT: This was the wrong amount… His Uncle, Pallas, has 50 sons . . . . . I’m speechless…

Back on topic. The Athenian king, whose name I’ve forgotten. (Googles first), Aegeus, King of Athens has 51 people waiting for him to die. Why dont they just kill him? Killing a relative in the world of Ancient Greek Mythology without proper reason means that Zeus will kill you.. and you get a special punishment from Hades.

Aegeus, he’s the one on the right

So when Theseus was 1 week old, Aegeus left prizes for him under a boulder when he is strong enough to push the boulder away. Spoiler: Being a demigod he was strong enough to push the rock when he reached the age of 17.

Aegeus left him with his mother at her mother’s hometown, Troezen. Why? Cause there are 51 enemies of Aegeus that might be able to kill Theseus, because they are not related-ish, again, it’s so confusing… point is, It’s too dangerous to bring Theseus back home to Athens.

You know, just claim that Theseus is a son of Poseidon as well as his son, and all of Pallas and their sons won’t kill Theseus unless they want war with the 2nd most powerful god… But nope, Aegeus has to do weird stuff..

Her mother Aethra, is awesome, I mean raising a child is hard enough to do on your own.. Now Aethra? She raised an impulsive, superpowerful demigod with the inability to focus. She also raised her alone, and prepped Theseus for his journey to Athens. She tells her stories about dangerous bandits on the way to Athens.

So if one day you’re parents tells you to read a story like one of those Greek heroes used to hear to your little sister or brother, you know which one to tell to scare them. Remind me to do that on Alice :D.

Now if your mom complains about raising you… You have an excuse, “Hey, at least I’m not ADHD like Theseus.” Wait I take it back… DON’T SAY THAT UNLESS YOU HAVE A DEATHWISH. Mother’s are like a ticking time bomb. Me, luckily, I don’t have a mom. I have a Bubi. Unfortunately, A Bubi is like 10 times worse than your average mom. I still love you though <3

Okay back on topic… When he was a teenager, he grew up and became a strong, clever and handsome demigod.

No bandit, monster, or bad guy tried to even enter Troezen’s borders. Theseus can play with them like a child would with toys or video games, it must be nice raising a superhero like demigod, you can save money on those toys that cost a lot.

By 17, his boredom has annoyed his mother and his mother asked him to roll that boulder downhill. He found good leather sandals, and a sword. Hey, not a bad deal. This sword of his has the initials of Aegeus, it also has a symbol of an olive tree and owl. Which was the Athenian Kingdom symbol. Her mother told Theseus the sword was once his fathers.

His mother told him to go to Athens, and defend his father’s throne. Troezen to Athens was not that far in range, roughly 100 kilometers… But.. The short route? Filled with monsters, bandits, and tricksters. Not safe I take it… The other route is through the sea not much of a challenge, just way safer.

Theseus think of safe as boring…

So being an impulsive child, he took the dangerous route.

Typical…

Now while on this way, Theseus remembered all the stories his mother used to tell him as a child. About all the villains on the way from Troezen to Athens. Today was the day he met them

He met a son of Hephaestus (God Of Blacksmiths and Fire), his name was Periphetes. The bad news? He is a bandit that uses a bronze and wooden club, he is strong and will smack you in the head with it, killing you, and then taking your valuables. The good news? her mother’s stories reminded him that he was a son of Hephaestus, which liked to be praised for their weapons craftmanship and skills.

So Theseus simply praised his weapon and asked to borrow it, so he can examine the weapon that will be used to kill him. Either Periphetes is an idiot, or he just likes to be praised SO much. Of course… Theseus killed him with the club, and then he kept it.

As he travelled, bandits and monsters either run away, or well… die

Couple of days after the average bandit and monster got cut up or headsmashed, Theseus met a pretty intriguing bandit. His name was Sinis, and he had a daughter named Perigune. Sinis has a weird hobby of keeping down pine trees by dragging the peak of the tree to the ground. He challenges people to do the same. In fact his nickname is “The Pine Bender”… Sounds like something from the Avatar, Legends Of Aang Series.

 

If you managed to beat him, you get to marry his daughter. If you decline the challenge, you can either get your body thrown up onto the air, or shredded into half by being tied up onto 2 pine trees. What if I try to run? you get slammed in the head by a boulder from a pine tree catapult.

So your options are… Try to get a pretty girl, and a 99% chance of dying in pain, Die in massive pain, or Die in pain.

Hmm…. Wonder what you’ll do

Hey, Theseus is smart and strong, and luckily, Sinis was one of the bandits that his mother told him about. He knew how Sinis could keep his grip onto that tree for what seems forever. Sinis is a son of Poseidon (so Theseus’ brother, Have I told you that a golden flying sheep, which eventually became a carpet is also any Son of Poseidon’s brother?) and Poseidon, being the summoner of earthquakes in Greek mythology, can sort of manipulate the Earth. Sinis also has this capability. He can plant his body in the earth the way a tree does.

A Picture Of Theseus (Right) And Sinis’s (Left) Tree Holding Contest.

So how does Theseus beat him?

Firstly he accepted Theseus’ challenge, and agreed to get one of his hands tied onto the pine tree, he left the other hand without any use. When Sinis let go of his grip, Theseus managed to hold the tree for a while. After a while, he cut the strap that was used to tie him up. He is still holding the tree. Not long after, Sinis got curious and took a peek at how Theseus managed to hold much longer. When Sinis got close to the tree, he let go and sent Sinis flying like a catapult sending a rock.

Sinis fainted.

When he woke up. . . He got a taste of his own medicine, Theseus tied him up onto 2 pine trees like he would do to anyone who declines. And well… You can guess what happened.

Fortunately, Theseus being a self-righteous man, he released Perigune and continued his journey to Athens.

After another few days he landed at a town called Crommyon. Never heard of it? Oh that’s cause the town is only remembered for a short while, when Theseus visited. At this town, Theseus heroically slayed the mighty… Pig… and its owner, an old lady…

Right? Am I reading this right? Moving on

The next bandit he met was someone named Sciron. He has a pet turtle (oh wait… A Pet GIANT Turtle) and raided people near seas, where his turtle lived. He is also Theseus’ brother, another Son Of Poseidon.

From his mother’s stories he remembered Sciron is a guy who either kills you and takes everything you own, or force you to wash his dirty feet (and kick the poor guy to be turtle food, although Sciron does not tell this part). He remembered Sciron’s weakness his mother tells him. He loves to be praised.

So that’s what he does, he praised Sciron and almost washed his feet while praising his greatness. While distracted he tripped Sciron and made him Turtle Food

After many bandits you should be able to guess Theseus’ philosophy:
Give people a taste of their own medicine, so they know that what they’re doing is bad and they feel that.

After Sciron he finally made it to Athens, but It’s still a long journey for Theseus.

Theseus Part 2

Previously, In Theseus’ story.. He was born with 2 dads. His mother doesn’t need to spend money on toys. He made his mother frustrated, cause he is annoying… (Sounds like me) He killed lots of dudes with their own weapons. and he fed a giant turtle, the meal for the turtle was the turtle’s owner.

The regular day of a demigod.

He reached Athens.. Who is now, the capital of Greece… Back then Athens was rich… Powerful? I’m not sure about that. As I said last week, Athens was the best city in Greece. But after taking a look at it’s state, I take it back. Until Theseus became king that is, and if he does become king.

So why isn’t Athens great?

List of Problems
1. King Aegeus, Theseus’ father is only the king of Athens by name. The city is ruled by ruffians that are Theseus’ cousins, known as the Pallanides. Yes, The King Of Athens has a younger brother, the brother has 50 sons, as I said before. These people would kill any possible heir to Aegeus, so that they get the throne when Aegeus dies. Cause of them, the king was paranoid, and made sure no one he doesn’t know are allowed to be even near the king.

2. Aegeus does not know that Theseus is his son . . . Of course, if you leave your son when he’s an infant, you won’t know.

3. Every 7 years, 7 young men and women from Athens must be fed to the Minotaur (Half Man Half Bull Monster) in Crete. It’s a long story, involving Zeus, sports accident, death, ruffians, and surrendering. But within 2 months since Theseus arrived, the sacrifice will be sent.

4. King Aegeus, has a new wife, named Medea . She’s a sorceress, and she also wants HER son, to be king. Being a sorceress, with spies all over the place, she knew Theseus was Aegeus’ son, and she wants to kill him.

5. A bull in a place near Athens called Marathon, was wreaking havoc, seriously? More Bull problems? This is Bullshit :D. The bull was then named, Marathonian Bull, cause the Greeks traded out creativity in coming up with names, for having gods that fall in love with mortals every time a pretty one shows up. Also, fun fact… The Bull was one of Hercules’ labors, but he released it at the wrong place

So, does Athens seem powerful now?

Wait, good news, who would’ve thought

1. Anyone who kills the Marathonian Bull gets dinner with the king.

Just one? LOL

More bad news from the previous good news? Ooh there’s some

1B. That means if Theseus slays the bull, he gets to meet face to face with Medea :/ Which means, He’ll die from magic.
2B. Medea is a good liar, and a murderer, also a great sorceress. I’m writing about Jason and The Argonauts when I want to, and you should read that if I finally decide to write that up.

Right.. I think that’s enough paragraphs filled with problems.

So, Theseus decided to kill the bull. Unfortunately, Zeus had other plans. See, the bull was sacred to one of his sons. Weirdly enough, his son, Minos, King Of Crete (The same one kingdom with the Minotaur) was the one who gave it to Hercules. Maybe that’s cause they are both sons of Zeus, since they’re half brothers and Zeus didn’t mind. But a son of Poseidon? *gasp* NO WAY! He threw a massive storm that prevented Theseus from getting out.

So Theseus went to a Temple Of Zeus. A Priestess there told him to sacrifice the Bull and do not kill it, unless as a sacrifice to Zeus. The Gods are already rich, but they still demand sacrifices. Oh, you do not want to? If you live in Ancient Greece… Well I’m sure each Olympian will have a way of punishing you.

So he made a trap, and placed it near a barn. He lured the bull inside the barn. Some versions say that he pretended to be a some sort of… Female Cow… But I think that’s ridiculous. Let’s just say he used grass and lured the bull onto a barn and caught it.

Theseus riding the Marathonian Bull, before sacrificing it.

Once caught, Theseus rode the Bull back onto the Temple Of Zeus, and sacrificed it.

He went back to Athens, still anonymous. Everyone is curious, who the heck is this awesome young man who slayed the Marathonian Bull. A while before dinner with the king, who by the way, is now old and weak, Medea told his husband that this young man is an assassin that works with his brother.

Being a paranoid king who has an assassinphobia, (I made that up) he ordered his servants to put poison in Theseus’ wine.

Luckily, Theseus being a clever dude, remembered what his mother told him about the sword. He came onto the king’s palace with his sword unsheathed. Aegeus recognized the sword that was once his. He immediately knew who Theseus was… His son, so he threw away the poisoned wine, and caught up with Theseus. Medea was supposed to be punished, but she ran away. Trust me… You haven’t read how messed up Medea actually is.

Yaay…

Now all that is left to do is to get rid of problem numbers 1 and 3… Unfortunately, those two are the hardest.

Hard? Really?

The very next day, before I was focused, and was actually doing something, seemed to be a prime time for bad guy slaying. Theseus killed all the Pallantides, each group of them normally contains 5-10 out of 50. They were dead first thing in the morning. Of course, before they knew who he was, cause then, he would be outnumbered as the Pallantides won’t split up.

What about Pallas? Aegeus’ brother? He was exiled. A very merciful punishment.

Okay, now problem number 3 is the best and most fun one.

Not long afterwards, lotteries were pulled for the third seven year cycle of human flesh for the Minotaur. Who will be the lucky Athenian to win a free trip to Crete, a free ticket to the Labyrinth where the Minotaur lives, and free dinner… for the Minotaur.

Wow, what a prize! And Theseus volunteered to defend the other lucky lottery winners.

Aegeus begged for Theseus not to come to Crete. But, being the impulsive child he is… He didn’t care. Luckily, Aegeus made Theseus promise to use white sails instead of black to symbolize that they survived.

What’s up with Black and White? That’s my second favorite Michael Jackson song.

Oh you meant Black and White sails? Black sails symbolize death, and failure. White is not black.

So Theseus sailed to take care of the Minotaur, and Let’s Make Athens Great Again!

To Be Continued 😀

Theseus, Part 3

So, last time, Theseus bravely offered himself as a sacrifice for King Minos’ crazy bullheaded man, or manbodied bull.

3 days after leaving Athens, Theseus led the 14 offerings, and they made way onto the worst monster in all of Crete.

King Minos. . .

King Minos, Evil King Of Crete.

No seriously, this dude is filled with TOTAL CRUELTY, I can write about his cruelty, but that will be a different story! The Minotaur was his stepson, but that’s a long story, involving Aphrodite (Goddess of Love, and Beauty), a bull, Poseidon, and Minos’ old wife.

But, apparently Minos isn’t cruel enough to not feed these offerings. He gave these poor Athenians a proper bedchamber in the palace, and a nice dinner, before they become dinner themselves!

King Minos just HATES Theseus at first sight.

Over the past 7 year phases where Athens started feeding the Minotaur, King Minos saw poor young people from a rival kingdom, being a bunch of pessimists, pitying their poor luck, and just trying to enjoy their last day, before the Minotaur enjoys his meal.

Theseus however, being an optimistic guy, ended up sharing stories of his travels to Athens and whatever I told you in the previous 2 parts, granting confidence to the rest of his fellow Athenians.

So, King Minos wants him to die now, before he even stood a chance to kill the Minotaur. Really? Isn’t that a bit unfair? Who cares? He’s King Minos.

He challenged him to catch one of his gold rings (Dude’s rich, he can throw away an expensive gold ring, and just grab some more) he threw the ring from his palace onto the oceans, which was having a storm, and the currents were also heavy at night.. Minos said that only a son of Poseidon could ever swim such a harsh current, and survive jumping a 50 foot tower fall from the castle onto the sea, and if Theseus was truly a son of Poseidon, he could find it.

Now, after reading 2 parts of Theseus’ story, you would know that:

A: He is very rash, and doesn’t think through things that much
B: He has daddy issues, Why? He’s got 2 of them

So, after Minos brought up point B, he proved point A right by having Theseus jump, and well, while on the way down, he prayed to his father to save him.

Phew, the prayer delivery system isn’t like Internet during a saturday night (HORRIBLY SLOW) and was more like my house’s Wi-Fi, FAST!. If it wasn’t, then Theseus would’ve died. He swam through the currents with grace, like any son of Poseidon should. He dove for a glimmering ring, and swam up again.

With wet clothes, he barged in through the castle doors, and shoved the ring onto Minos’ face. The glory when someone tries to embarrass you but ends up getting embarrassed themselves is PRICELESS.

In the meantime, one of Minos’ daughters fell in love with Theseus’ courage, handsomeness, and wits. Her name was Ariadne, she didn’t want Theseus to die and get eaten by the Minotaur.

So, after Theseus fell asleep, Ariadne went onto her mentor’s chamber inside the labyrinth. Who’s her mentor? Daedalus, the dude killed his own nephew, (he has a son that could make a great story, but again, next time). He was banished to Crete cause of that. He keeps devising ways for his evil master and king, Minos, to make Crete the best kingdom in all of Greece. I personally don’t get why Minos gets a reward while Daedalus was punished.

Now, Problems for Theseus:
1. The Labyrinth is confusing, just cause you could find the Minotaur, doesn’t mean you could find the way out.
2. Number 1 is a problem, If you Could kill the Minotaur, hand to hand, for, No weapons are allowed to be carried inside The Labyrinth.

Back on Track

Ariadne remembered everything Daedalus taught him to find a way inside the labyrinth. “When In Doubt Turn Right”. As simple as that. Never turn Left, always take the “right” path.

She found Daedalus’ chamber, and Daedalus gave Ariadne a ball of thread. He told her to tie it onto the door, and just weave the string, follow it on the way out. So that’s one problem covered.

Daedalus told Ariadne that you could use the Minotaur’s own horns as a weapon, and that the Minotaur used to have a real name. His name was Asterion, use that name to distract the beast.

So there are minor tricks to beat the Minotaur, despite you have no weapons.

While Theseus was asleep, Ariadne woke her up, and told him everything she knew. Ariadne made Theseus promise to take her home back to Athens if he survived, and made her Theseus’ wife. Theseus agreed.

The very next day …

It’s a Minotaur feeding time! Theseus bravely led the Athenians to enter the Labyrinth without any weapons, while all of Crete are celebrating this bloodbath with the annual “Minotaur Feeding Show”. Theseus tied the ball of string Ariadne gave him onto the doors of the Labyrinth. He entered, and took Ariadne’s advice, “When In Doubt, Turn Right”.

Not long after, he entered the lair of the Minotaur. What he saw in that lair was disgusting! YUCK, he saw skulls of dead Athenians, he saw blood, and some hay for snacking, he saw a muscly man, with the head of a horned bull, or a bull with the body of a man, it’s like a Zebra, black stripes white skin? or white stripes black skin?

           The Minotaur! Half Man Half Bull.

The Minotaur was enraged, and hungry, he charged up, trying to attack Theseus, and the rest of his lunch. Before the Minotaur even had a chance of feasting any Athenians, Theseus told them to stay behind the entrance of the Minotaur’s chamber, keeping them safe, where the Minotaur couldn’t reach them. Theseus bravely fought the bull hand to hand, but no matter how strong Theseus is, the Minotaur is definitely stronger. Theseus just knew he couldn’t beat that Minotaur with nothing but brawns, and he used something else that the Minotaur doesn’t have. Brains.

I’m sure you’ve read this part of Theseus before, but Theseus is a very clever dude, and he could outsmart anyone in combat.

The Minotaur is using his head as he fought Theseus! He rammed him with it.

So, what did Theseus do? He yelled the name “Asterion!”, as the Minotaur charged forward. The Minotaur stopped and stood there in a trance, he remembered that name, he remembered his human half, before he was seen as a monster. But that memory was interrupted when Theseus climbed on his back, taking his horn. Enraged,The Minotaur tossed Theseus away, where Theseus hurt his arm. Despite the pain, he charged, and bravely, he thrusted the Minotaur’s horn onto his chest. The Minotaur bellowed, screaming loudly, echoing through all of Crete, and he died, Theseus still felt pity for the Minotaur, no matter how terrible he has been to the people of Athens, the true monster in his eyes is King Minos, he prayed that the Minotaur would be given a peaceful rest.

Theseus lead the other Athenians and followed Ariadne’s String on his way out, he showed the Minotaur’s broken horn to the people of Crete, and he immediately took Ariadne away. Weirdly in the crowd, Ariadne’s sister, Phaedra also followed Theseus, since she also hated her father’s kingdom, and now, King Minos, has no Daughter’s for him to yell at. This leads to Daedalus’s misery, tenfold.

Theseus went back, married Ariadne. They lived Happily Ever After, as the King and Queen of Athens.

HAHAHA

You think it ended happily?

NO! Greek heroes, (ALMOST) never have a happy ending

So, 1 day on his 3 day trip back home, Theseus became an A-Class Jerk.

He dumped Ariadne on an island he came across, leaving her alone, cause Theseus thinks that her sister is prettier than Ariadne, but luckily, Dionysus, the God Of Wine, (no, seriously, That’s a thing) and one of the strongest gods (Again, I’m serious, I didn’t believe it at first, but I think that’s an interesting story).

Anyways, Ariadne was found by Dionysus on an island, and Dionysus made Ariadne his immortal wife. So that’s a happy ending.

Theseus ended up marrying Ariadne’s sister, Phaedra, and they celebrated a lot on the way home, they partied so much Theseus forgot to change the color of the sails, as it is still black.

Well, I didn’t remember it either actually, but I didn’t think it would’ve been a matter of life and death. Aegeus, Theseus’ father leapt to his death off the palace’s roof after seeing the color of the sail.

Theseus arrived and was immediately crowned the rightful king of Athens. Was he sad? I’m not sure honestly. He barely even knew the guy.

Now, if you think the terrible things Theseus has done is bad enough, it’s going to be worse, tenfold.

If you’re one of my homeschooled friends, then you would know there are bad influences back in school.

If you are still in school, you might remember some friends that are not good influences, and your mom might tell you to stay away from that friend.

Now, Theseus, met a dude who was one of those bad influences. He was leader of the Lapiths, a tribe who joins parties of Centaurs, and Centaurs are known as crazy party dudes. What’s a Centaur? Ever saw a Half Man Half Horse? That’s a Centaur

Dude’s name was Pirithous, and Theseus did terrible things with him which includes:

  1. Killing Centaurs, leaving their dead bodies on streets of Athens
  2. Kidnapping Helen of Troy, sounds like something that someone else has done? Yeah, She got kidnapped by Theseus when she was not of marrying age yet. He decided that he should let her go anyways. She ended up marrying King Menelaus, and… I should write about that.
  3. He didn’t even govern Athens properly, he became someone who partied, partied, and partied all day long.

Athens was starting to hate Theseus. But they reached their last straw when Theseus and Pirithous went onto the Underworld, and tried kidnapping Persephone, Hades’ wife, (She’s also a victim of constant kidnapping). They failed, of course, Theseus ended up imprisoned by Hades, and was freed by Hercules, long story.

After returning home again, Athens hated Theseus, Phaedra, his wife dumped him, and left.

But Athens still has little respect for all the good things their king has done.

Until he killed a young man his ex-wife fell in love with. Okay, kidnapping is kind of fine, the gods do it ALL the time, Murder? No king is worthy of murder. Athens hated him to the point of Donald Trump hate.

He left and travelled onto a place called Scyros, and became the general there.

The people of Scyros, hated his rep, Theseus rep is practically trash.

So the people at Scyros threw Theseus down the sea, and he drowned. Poseidon has no reason to save his own son again, after his terrible actions.

Moral of the story?
Theseus did things his way in his youth, he defeated evil people using their own way of defeating people he used karma.
Things were going great for Theseus, until he dumped Ariadne, who helped him.
Karma caught up to him, and one’s reputation can change, quickly. 20 good deeds, can disappear after a bad one. Theseus destroyed his own reputation and you should remember that one’s rep is hard to gain, but easy to wreck. How is he still seen as a hero? One can hide bad deeds and not tell them, and people tried to remember the good things he has done.

I think Theseus deserved all the hate he has at the end of his life, he can’t maintain a proper attitude, or behavior, he isn’t worthy to be king.

Until next time!